Precious Pet
by Behind The Hood
Summary: Let's say Izaya never became an info broker. Let's say he never met Shizuo in high school. Let's say things are very different from what they could have been. Now, let's say Shizuo finds himself with a new pet after finding out some horrifying information from a man in white. Let's say Izaya was that new pet. Shizaya! Yaoi! Non-con!
1. Chapter 1

"P-please, w-we can get you the money; we just need more time, please! Please don't do this!" a woman cries as her baby is ripped from her arms by a red headed man with a cane. Said man coos at the infant who immediately took to him, giggling and holding his pudgy baby arms out to him. The infant's parents only cry harder as their son is taken from them.

"How old is the boy?" a man in a white suit asks as he smokes his cigarette, an air of indifference rolling off of him in waves as he regards the distressed couple.

"Please—"

"His age?" the man with the cane cuts them off, throwing the baby in the air then catching the giggling child with ease, though scaring the new parents to near death.

"He's almost six months…He was born May 4th…" the father says, holding his sobbing wife. The man in the suit nods and makes his leave.

"Your debt is now repaid. It was a pleasure doing business with you." The red headed man follows his partner out of the house, his attention completely on the happy child in his arms that doesn't know he will never see his parents again.

—Page Break—

"Shi-Shi!" the young boy with raven hair shouts happily to the man in white, holding his arms up and smiling brightly.

"No talking." Was his simple reply to the child, ignoring his request to be held. The child puts his arms down and remains sitting in the floor but doesn't stop smiling up at the man in white. The man in white's partner walks into the room, cane slug lazily over his shoulder and bright smile in place.

"Akaba!" the young child shouts happily, crawling over to the red head and holding his arms up, easily getting over the man in white's rejection. The red head smiles down at the toddler and picks him up with ease.

"Hey, little guy." The child giggles and hugs the red head's neck.

"No talking." The man in white says, focusing intently on the folder placed on his desk and the words on his computer screen.

"Me or the little guy?" the red head asks off handedly as he places the toddler back on the ground and walks to the fridge, pulling out a plastic bottle of apple juice, the child crawling after him, smile still on his face.

"The kid."

The red head nods and opens the bottle then kneels down to the toddler sitting at his feet, handing him the juice. The child happily held the bottle in both of his small hands and takes a sip. The red head smiles at the action and takes the juice when the child holds it out to him to be put up and finished later.

The toddler yawns and crawls over to the man in white, sleepily holding his arms up. The man in white finally looks down at the young raven and sees him rub his eyes and yawn again. He looks out the window and sees that it is, indeed, dark out. How the toddler stayed awake this long was beyond him. Sighing, he picks the child up.

"Bed time."

—Page Break—

The preteen is sleeping peacefully on the couch, head in the man in white's lap while he and the man in red have a meeting in the living room. The man across from them and his two guards found it hard to take their eyes off the child.

"If you aren't going to pay attention, I will gladly reschedule our meeting to a later date." The man in white was at the end of his rope though he didn't show it.

"Uhm, oh, no, very sorry. Please, continue."

They continue their meeting and by the time it ends, the child wakes up, yawning quietly and turning to crawl over to the red head, nuzzling his head against the man's shoulder. Said man chuckles and picks the kid up and takes him into the kitchen to be fed while the man in white wraps up the meeting, showing their guests the exit.

"And now we know he can behave during meetings," the red head says as he sits the child on the floor and reaches into the fridge and pulls out a few chilled coffees, one for each other them. He hands one to the man in white then sits his down, opening the kids and handing it to him before tending to his own.

"He was sleeping, we don't know that he can behave, he has to be awake." The man in white stares down at the child who is chugging down his black coffee; he never understood how a twelve year old could like black coffee but he didn't question it because the child didn't get overly hyper and seemed to enjoy drinking it.

When the raven finishes he burps, and the expression on his face shows he wasn't expecting it, and then he giggles. The red head chuckles and the man in white cracks a small and fleeting blink-and-you'll-miss-it smile. He holds his empty bottle up and the red head takes it and throws it away.

—Page Break—

A knock sounded on the door to the apartment and a tall blond known by the name Heiwajima Shizuo walks in. "Yo Shiki-san." He greets the man in white. Strangely enough, the man in white is nowhere in sight, but upon closer inspection of the apartment, he sees a young man with raven hair and rustic eyes staring at him from his resting place on the couch. He's wearing a grey pullover, black basketball shorts and white ankle socks.

Shizuo blinks. The raven smiles. Shizuo walks over to the other male. "Hello Heiwajima-san." The blonde jumps in surprise. "Izaya, stay." The young raven, now known as Izaya, smiles at the man in white that pets his head as he sits beside him.

"I wasn't aware you had company," Shizuo starts awkwardly. Izaya crawls over Shiki's lap and lays down, eyes closed, smiling contently. Shiki pets his head.

"He isn't company." Shiki doesn't elaborate. Shizuo just nods and sits on the couch opposite the one Shiki and Izaya. Shiki lays a folder onto the coffee table between them. "I need you to give this to your friend Kishitani-san." Shizuo nods but his focus is on Izaya who is smiling at him from Shiki's lap. "Izaya, up."

Izaya crawls off of Shiki and sits beside him on his knees, smiling. Shiki pulls his cigarettes and lighter from his pocket and Izaya frowns, hopping off the couch and crawling to the one Shizuo is seated on, smiling up at the blonde.

Shizuo stares at the raven as he pulls himself onto the couch and sits on his knees beside him, smiling. "Why are you staring at me?" he questions. Izaya smiles and continues staring at him. Shizuo growls in annoyance. "What the fuck? I asked you a question, the least you could do is answer!"

Izaya flinches and backs away, looking ashamed.

"Ah, go easy on the little guy, he doesn't see new people often, he's just excited." Akabayashi walks into the room, cane in hand, and sits beside Izaya, who smiles and crawls onto his lap, knees on either side of his legs.

Izaya nuzzles into the red head's neck affectionately. The red head pets him on the head and chuckles. "Izaya, this is Shizuo, he's a friend," Akabayashi tells Izaya in a way you would speak to a child. Izaya continues smiling at him then turns his red eyes to Shizuo, his smile dropping. Izaya takes a tentative step closer to the blonde. He leans his head closer and sniffs, causing the men in suits to chuckle, watching the exchange with amusement, while the blonde looks just as unsure as the raven. Izaya carefully crawls onto the blonde's lap the way he had the red head and sniffs at his clothes then leans back in distaste, crawling back to the red head.

"W-what the fuck?" Shizuo asks Shiki. Shiki exhales smoke and watches it swirl in the air and dissipates before replying.

"He doesn't like the smell of smoke, don't take it too hard." He shrugs as though he's use to it. There is a domestic silence as Akabayashi pets Izaya and Shiki smokes. It starts to unnerve Shizuo.

"S-Shiki-san, I didn't know you had a kid—"

"Let me stop you right there Heiwajima-san. This is a business meeting. Let's keep it professional."

Shizuo looks over at the raven that was already looking at him and smiling. Izaya crawls back over to him, not as shy as before, and sniffs him again, this time his hair. Izaya pulls away from his head and smiles at him, obviously pleased with the smell of his shampoo then nuzzles the blonde's neck, sitting in his lap and leaning onto him. Its then that Shizuo notices the leather collar he was wearing that was mostly covered by the pullover.

Shizuo felt incredibly awkward. "S-so, about this file?" he asks, wanting to leave as soon as possible.

"Yes, I need this file taken to Kishitani-san and filled out then I need you to bring it back to me; that's all you need to know regarding this matter." Shiki finishes his cigarette, stubbing it in the ash tray sitting on the coffee table. "Izaya, get up. Heiwajima-san needs to leave."

Izaya doesn't move, and Shizuo worries for the boy's safety when Shiki raises an eyebrow at his refusal to get up. Shiki opens his mouth to scold the raven when the red head chuckles.

"He fell asleep," Akabayashi snickers. Shizuo looks down at the little raven in his lap, sleeping on him. He looks very peaceful. Almost cute. "Alright little guy, wake up." Akabayashi lightly shakes Izaya.

Izaya blinks his eyes open and rubs the sleep from one, yawning. He looks up at the red head and holds his arms up, asking to be carried. The red head picks up the raven and carries the tired male into another room. Shizuo and Shiki watch them go before turning and meeting each other's gaze.

"So, the meetings over?" Shizuo asks. Shiki nods. "Good, then I'm done being professional. Why the hell is that kid wearing a collar?"

"He isn't much of a kid anymore; he's really only a few months younger than you," Shiki says, easily avoiding the question, though it doesn't go unnoticed by Shizuo.

"Alright, why is Izaya wearing a collar?"

"Because he's our pet," Akabayashi tells Shizuo for Shiki, taking a seat by his partner, leaning forward on his cane, resting his head on his hands, smiling.

Shizuo blinks as the words slowly sink in. "You have a pet…person?" Shiki, seeing no reason to avoid the topic now that the cat was out of the bag, nods. "And…he's ok with being a pet?"

"Well, he was raised to be a pet, so he doesn't know any better." The red head shrugs.

"Raised? How long have you had him?" Shizuo asks.

"Since he was six months old."

"Damn…but…Why raise him to act like an animal, why didn't you just raise him like a normal child?"

"It was an experiment of sorts," Shiki mumbles as he lights another cigarette.

"You can't just do that to a person!" Shizuo growls.

Shiki watches Shizuo for a while, taking note of his body language. It just screamed that he finds even the _idea_ of owning a person as a moral wrong. With that in mind, his decision was made.

"I expect the files back by tomorrow. You may leave now."

_~Cerise_


	2. Chapter 2

"But Shiki!" I hear someone yell. It sounds like Akaba. I sit up and crawl out of bed and to the open door of my room, poking my head into the hall to see what they are yelling about.

"My decision is final. If Heiwajima-san thinks it's so wrong, then he can have him," Shi-Shi says in his boss tone. I'm curious as to whom they are talking about giving to the blonde man from earlier so I crawl into the living room with my masters, watching them silently from the entryway.

"At least make an exception or something! Like, if he can't handle him then we get him back for good and he can just get over it," Akaba begs, he looks ready to cry. I've never seen him like this. I crawl to Akaba's side and nuzzle his leg. Akaba doesn't hesitate to pick me up and hold me close. "Look at this face," he grabs my chin, not roughly but grabs it nonetheless, and positions it so I'm looking at Shi-Shi, "Tell me you won't miss this face! Tell me!" Akaba is hysterical. He's freaking out and…Wait…My face? Miss it?...Are they getting rid of me?

I whimper when Shi-Shi does nothing but stare at me. He's…he's getting rid of me.

"I'll consider your offer, but for now, say your goodbyes, he's leaving tomorrow when Heiwajima-san returns." He turns back to his computer and I feel my tears start to race down my cheeks. I'm leaving with Shizu-chan tomorrow whether I want to or not.

"Ok," Akaba starts, sounding depressed, "Let's get you ready for tomorrow." And with that being said, tears rolling down my face and him holding back to the best of his ability, we walk into my room and pack up my things.

—Page Break—

"Yo Shiki-san, I got your files!" Shizu-chan shouts as he walks in. I'm sitting between Shi-Shi and Akaba on the couch. I'm still in my pajamas and I haven't smiled once today, I don't think Akaba has either, but I don't know, I can't look either in the eye, knowing that I'm no longer wanted.

"Heiwajima-san, please, have a seat," Shi-Shi starts.

"Uh, sure." When Shizu-chan sits down on the opposite couch I get up from my place on the couch and crawl to the other and just lay at his feet. "I think something's wrong with your pet…" I huff but don't move from my spot.

"He's just upset but we'll discuss that matter with you after," Shi-Shi says and there's shuffling as Shizu-chan hands a folder over to Shi-Shi.

I zone out for the time being, not at all interested in their dirty work. But…Why doesn't Shi-Shi want me anymore? Did I do something wrong? Why isn't Akaba fighting harder to keep me? Does he not want me either? Am I really that much of a bother?

I thought I was good, I always did as I was told, I didn't bother them when they were working, I was quiet…I don't see what I did wrong…

I don't notice that I'm crying until Shizu-chan is petting me. I paw at him, wanting to be left alone. He stares at me with worried eyes but I still don't meet his gaze.

"Izaya, stop pouting," Shi-Shi scolds and, not wanting to have him dislike me anymore than he already does, I sit up and bow my head, shielding my eyes with my hair. He sighs but doesn't scold me further. "Heiwajima-san, about what you said yesterday, about Izaya."

"What about it?" Shizu-chan asks in a threatening tone and I'm shocked at how he's speaking to Shi-Shi but keep my head bowed.

"He's yours."Shi-Shi's so blunt about it, it hurts my heart to know he cares so little when he and Akaba are all I've ever cared about.

"…What?"

"We raised Izaya to behave how we wanted; just as any parent or guardian has the right to do with their child. He wasn't treated cruelly so there is nothing particularly wrong with it per se, seeing as the child was being fed, sheltered and cared for. If you ignore the moral wrongs involving the issue, it's not really a problem. He isn't being forced to crawl around naked, he isn't being fed animal food rather than human food, he isn't being starved and he isn't being treated like a sex slave. But since you think owning him is such a terrible thing, I've decided that if you can turn him into a normal, everyday citizen of this city, he's yours, but if you can't handle him, he is to be returned to our care and you will just have—"

"—to deal with it," Akaba finishes in his cold voice.

There's a pause before Shizu-chan speaks again. "So, you're telling me, I'm about to be forced to reverse the years of psychological damage you've done to him and if I can't he has to stay a pet forever?"

See, Shizu-chan doesn't want me either. Why don't you just throw me out on the streets and save me the humility…

I slump back down to the floor and wait for this torture to be over.

—Page Break—

"Well, I can't do anything until he wakes up Shizuo, so you're just going to have to wait!" a male shouts and I turn myself onto my belly and slowly sit up, groaning a little at being on my back for so long. When I open my eyes, I'm in a place I don't recognize with people I don't know and Shizu-chan. Oh my gosh, that lady doesn't have a head!

A squeak escapes me as I back up and fall from the bed I'm on and land on the floor. Dammit! No noise! No noise! Shi-Shi will be so disappointed…

Shi-Shi…

I stay where I fell, not bothering to move. I just feel too dejected to move.

"Hey, Izaya, you ok?" Shizu-chan asks me. He's kneeling beside me and he looks worried. I offer him a halfhearted smile at his kindness but that's all I can muster. He picks me up and places me on the bed and the headless woman is walking towards me.

I back away from her and Shizu-chan catches me before I make a repeat of my fall. The headless woman stops short and pulls a cell phone looking thing from her sleeve using misty looking shadows. She types something then shows me the screen.

I stare blankly at the marks looking back at me. I blink a few times, not knowing what she wants me to do. My brows furrow and I slowly reach up and take the electronic from her hand. I look at her to see if that's what she wanted but I can't tell because she's lacking a head.

I turn to look at Shizu-chan, unsure of what to do. But to my surprise the other male in the room speaks.

"Can you not read?" he asks and plucks the device from my hand. He doesn't sound like he was scolding me, but I don't know what he means. Can I not read? Why would I need to read? I tilted my head at him in confusion.

The woman in black made a motion with her hands like I had seen other woman do, like they were frustrated and holding back a scream. Is she mad at me for not knowing how to read?

"I agree with you Celty, that's adorable~!" the man with the glasses gushed. So she isn't mad?

I look up at Shizu-chan. He chuckles at me.

"They're harmless, don't worry. I just brought you here to make sure everything was ok with you, but Shinra said we had to wait until you were awake," Shizu-chan explained. I smile a little and look back at the couple still gushing over something I did.

Once they calm themselves, Celty types something on her PDA and shows it to Shinra who nods then she types something else and Shinra repeats it to me.

"_Hi, I'm Celty. I'm sorry for scaring you. Do you want me to put on my helmet?_"

She seems nice enough, and I'm starting to grow accustomed to her not having a head. But no one has ever asked my opinion before, what if this is just a test? Maybe that's all this is, just a test. They're just going to report how I behave to Shi-Shi and every time I misbehave, he's going to punish me. All I have to do is not misbehave, and follow Shi-Shi's rules and when I get returned, he'll be so proud.

But how do I answer her question if I'm going to follow Shi-Shi's rules? He wouldn't want me to offend anyone, especially a woman.

I shake my head no. The man in the glasses, Shinra, hums and walks up to me and he pulls out a Popsicle stick. "Open up and say 'Ahh'." He tells me. Open what?

"Izaya, open your mouth," Shizu-chan tells me. I comply. I don't want to disappoint Shi-Shi and Akaba.

Shinra places the stick on my tongue and presses down lightly. "He has excellent teeth, not a single filling from what I can see, which means no cavities," he says to Shizu-chan. "Say 'Ahh'," Shinra tells me again.

Speak? He wants me to talk? I blink at him. I've never spoke before…I always got scolded, I haven't talked in years…do I even have a voice anymore?

"Izaya, say 'Ahh'." I blink at Shizu-chan too and then my face scrunches up in frustration. I don't know how to! The doctor takes the stick off my tongue and I close my mouth.

"Can you talk?" Shinra asks me. I shake my head no. A tingling in my lower regions lets me know that nature calls. I whimper and fist my hands in my lap, looking up at Shizu-chan pitifully.

"What? What is it?" he asks. I bite my lip and blush a little. Akaba and Shi-Shi always just knew; I've never needed to tell someone. I whimper again and try to hold it a bit longer, my feet twitch a little. I need to pee, dammit!

"Uh, Shizuo, I think he needs to pee…" Shinra tells Shizu-chan. I look up at him pleadingly, my blush growing. Shizu-chan looks at the ceiling and rubs his hand down his face, muttering something under his breath. He stands up and looks at me expectantly. I hold my arms out to him, he sighs and runs his hand through his hair before he picks me up by my underarms and carries me from the room and into a bathroom.

"Can you use a toilet?" he asks as he sets me on my feet. My legs wobble and I fall to my knees, though I keep myself from hitting the floor too hard. When I look up at him, my blush deepens. Akaba always helped my use the bathroom. I don't know how to do it by myself.

He mutters something under his breath again then lifts the toilet seat up and picks me up by my hood, holding me there with one hand while he pulls my pants and underwear down with the other, though he doesn't look, which I'm thankful for, because this is so embarrassing. Once they're down he turns me towards the toilet and lowers me until my feet are barely touching the floor.

"Alright, go," he tells me. I blink and blush as I hold my peepee and point it at the toilet bowl. Ugh, I can't pee with him standing right there!

"Well, are you going to go or not?" he asks in frustration after standing here for about a minute. My blush deepens. I need to pee, but I'm too shy to do it in front of Shizu-chan. I bite my lip. He groans. "Alright, look, I know this is embarrassing for you, but it is for me too, so the quicker you do your business, the quicker this awkward situation ends."

I nod and try to relax so I can pee but only a few drops come out. My whole face turns a deep shade of red. Shizu-chan sighs and uses his foot to pull my pants and underwear further down my legs, sets the toilet seat down and pulls my hoodie up more then turns me so I'm sitting down.

He turns on the sink and keeps his back to me, covering his ears. "Now go, you have two minutes." He warns and once I'm sure he can't hear, I start to pee.

—Page Break—

When we come back into the room, he's got me under his arm, like how a guy would carry a book at his side, as he walks. How strong is this guy? I've seen guys bulkier than him that can't carry me like this, not to say that I'm heavy but it's still a bit of a challenge.

He sets me on the bed and I crawl to the pillow, curling myself into a ball.

"You guys were gone for a while," Shinra notes. Shizu-chan takes a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his pocket and lights up before he responds.

"He's bladder shy," is all he says before inhaling deeply. He sits beside me and I pout at the smell and crawl to the other end of the bed, away from the stench.

"So, he can't talk, can't read, I'm going to assume he can't write…Why?" Shinra asks Shizu-chan.

"Shiki-san treated him like a pet rather than a child," Shizu-chan says as he exhales smoke. I give Shizu-chan a dirty look for speak so poorly about my master…but then I remember Shi-Shi isn't my master anymore. Shizu-chan is my new master. At least for the time being…

"I see…how old is he?" Shinra asks as he holds a clipboard and pen.

"Twenty-four."

"He's our age? Wow…Ok…" Shinra writes that down.

"He can't walk either, so you know," Shizu-chan adds, taking another long drag.

Shinra nods. "And he just gave you Izaya?" Shizu-chan nods. "You do realize that if you want him to go from being a…pet, to being a normal person, you're going to have to start from the very beginning. It's going to be like raising a baby…just, a grown up baby."

I look at Shinra. Why is he calling me a baby?

"Fuck, I didn't even think about that…" Shizu-chan sighs. The woman, Celty, types something on her PDA and shows it to Shizu-chan; whatever it said, it made him smile. He looks nice when he smiles.

"Thanks Celty that would be great. But, we need to get this check up over with. I still have to get Izaya home and get him settled in." Shinra nods and Celty hugs Shizu-chan.

_~Cerise_


	3. Chapter 3

Shizu-chan carries me on his back with two large bags in his hand as we walk down the street. I've never been outside before, it's so pretty! The only view I've ever had is of a busy city and roof tops, but this…wow. The trees have these pretty flowers on them and there are people everywhere!

"Shizuo! Come eat sushi! Sushi good!" A large man says.

"Not now Simon, we'll come by for dinner though." Shizu-chan keeps walking. The large man waves goodbye and I smile and wave back.

"Eat sushi! Sushi good!" the large man, Simon, continues to shout. I smile as I continue looking around at the trees and sky. When I look at the people around me for the first time since coming outside, I realize that most of the people are giving us space…a lot of it.

I want to ask Shizu-chan why it looks like people are avoiding us but I'm scared to talk. Shi-Shi always said I wasn't allowed to talk. I'm not even sure I could talk if I wanted to. Shizu-chan doesn't seem to be bothered by the extra space given to us, so I guess it doesn't matter.

"ShizuShizu!" another person calls out to Shizu-chan. I look in the direction of the voice and see a girl and three guys standing around a van waving Shizu-chan over. Seems my new master is popular. I smile when we walk up.

"Good to see you Shizuo." A man in a hat nods.

"Ah! ShizuShizu, who's your friend?! He's so cute~" The girl does the same hand motions Celty did but she's squealing happily. Is this what Celty would have done had she had her head?

"This is Izaya," Shizu-chan answers and the girl squeals once again. She takes me off Shizu-chan's back and starts spinning us around as she hugs me. Girls are weird; I'm starting to see why Shi-Shi and Akaba kept me away from them.

The girl sets me on my feet then lets me go. Much to everyone's shock, excluding Shizu-chan's, I fall right to my knees. I sit there and look up at their stunned faces and then I look at Shizu-chan. He's staring down at me and I don't know what he's expecting me to do, so I hold my arms up to him, because the concrete is hot and burning my knees.

He cracks a small smile at me, as if he finds me adorable, then leans down and picks me up with one arm, holding me like a mother holds her toddler on her hip. I wrap my arms around his neck to keep myself from falling off of him then smile at him and nuzzle his neck in thanks.

"Guys, we gotta go," Shizu-chan tells them and turns to walk away.

"Yeah, sure, see ya around Shizuo," the man in the hat waves us off. I smile and wave back then smile wider when the weird girl squeals again.

Once we're a little ways off from the group, Shizu-chan adjusts me so I'm on his back again. "I'm sorry for Erika, she comes on a bit strong, but she's nice, really." Is he talking about the weird girl? Her name is Erika? I nod in understanding and nuzzle into Shizu-chan's neck again. His clothes smell bad but his hair smells nice, his neck is a bittersweet mix of the two scents.

—Page Break—

"Here we are. Home, sweet home." Shizu-chan sits me down and I look around at my new master's living space, it's not as big as Shi-Shi and Akaba's but that's ok, I'm the only one living there. They merely work there and go home at the end of the day, returning in the morning.

Shizu-chan walks through a hallway and I crawl over to his couch, having a mental debate as to if I'm allowed on or not. I timidly sit my hand on the seat, preparing to pull myself onto it when, "Izaya!"

I whimper and quickly pull my hand away, cowering back a few steps, declaring the couch a no-go zone. I see Shizu-chan rush over to me when he hears me whimper and looks down at me curiously.

"Did you hurt yourself? What's wrong?" he asks, kneeling down to my level, checking me over quickly. I shake my head and smile up at him, hoping to ease his worry. He sighs and ruffles my hair, his touch isn't ruff but it is definitely different from Shi-Shi and Akaba's soft and gentle touches.

He walks back from where he came, looking over his shoulder at me, "C'mon." I follow after him, curious as to where he's leading me.

I crawl into a bedroom and see Shizu-chan putting my clothes into the closet beside his. "You can sit on the bed, this is your home now, so you might as well get use to it," he tells me, falling back on the bed once he finishes. I tilt my head in confusion and look around the room. Just one bed.

I crawl over to the door and look into the hall, finding another door. "Izaya?" I crawl over to the door, pawing at it, scratching a bit to get Shizu-chan attention.

He walks into the hallway, looking at me curiously. "Do you need to go to the bathroom again?" he asks. Bathroom? That's what this door leads to?

I shake my head and look around again. There aren't any more doors. Where does he want me to sleep? I look up at him, titling my head. He sighs.

"Guess we can start teaching you now…" he mutters more to himself then looks down at me, meeting my eyes. "Tell me what you want." He commands. My eyes widen.

I…I have to…talk? No, no, no, no, no…I-I can't talk!

My slow head shaking quickly picks up as I stare at him in disbelief. He looks at me indifferently and shrugs, turning away. "I won't know what you want unless you tell me, just keep that in mind." And he walks into his room, leaving me sitting on the hallway carpet, confused, a little scared and having no idea what to do with myself.

I crawl into the living room and look around. Ugh, I don't know what to do! I crawl back to the bedroom and over to the bed. The room is dark and Shizu-chan is under the blanket…If he's sleeping I don't want to bother him…

Shizu-chan rolls over and his tired eyes meet mine and he raises an eyebrow. I bite my lip and look down at my hands. I take a deep breath and look back up into his eyes, determined to show Shizu-chan that I am not totally helpless.

I open my mouth and a squeak comes out. I huff at the failed attempt and try again. "Shhhh…" well, it's a start. "Shhhhesssss…Shhhhhiiii…" I stop when Shizu-chan starts to chuckle.

He gets out of bed and walks over to me, picking me up and carrying me over to the bed. "Alright, hot shot. At least you tried. We'll continue after a nap, we've both had a long day." He sits me down and I curl up in a partial ball, closing my eyes and smiling a little. I hear him chuckle again and then I feel him crawl onto the bed with me, throwing the blanket over the both of us.

Oh, we were supposed to share a bed? I kind of wish he had said that in the first place and saved me the trouble. I maneuver closer to him and rest my head on his firm, muscular chest. It's warm and I can hear his strong heartbeat.

I fall asleep as he lazily pets my head.

—Page Break—

I wake up when I hear a phone buzzing. I feel Shizu-chan move and then the buzzing stops as he answers with a groggy and slightly irritated, "What?" he begins petting my head again, running his fingers through my hair.

I smile and snuggle closer to his warm body, perfectly content where I am.

"Yeah," he replies, sounding less irritated and groggy, "We'll be there in a bit." He closed his orange flip phone without saying goodbye and I look up at him.

"Say my name." I blush a little at the command then furrow my brows as I take a deep breath, preparing to talk.

"Shhhhee…Shhhhhiiii…Shiiiiissss…" my cheeks puff out as I pull a blow fish face, frustrated. Shizu-chan chuckles at my fail and gets up, walking to his closet. I crawl off the bed after him, sitting at his feet.

"Sh-i-zu-o. Say it with me. Sh-i-zu-o." He coaches me, enunciating each syllable.

"Sh-i-su…su…sssuuu…" I turn my face away, a bit angry that I can't pronounce a 'z'. He chuckles again, pulling out a white t-shirt and washer abused jeans. He begins to strip down to his underwear.

"Keep trying, it's ok if you get it wrong, it gives us an idea of what we need to work on."

"Sh-i-sssu…pfft!" I fall forward and lay my face in the ground in defeat. He's full on laughing at me now and I stick my tongue out at him for being a big meanie.

"We're getting sushi," he pulls his shirt over his head, "So just keep practicing until we get there." He pulls his pants up and zips and buttons them before making his way back over to the closet and grabbing some of my clothes.

"We're meeting up with the group from before, Erika, Walker, Kadota and Saburo." He pulls out a black, long sleeved shirt, dark grey skinny jeans and my favorite jacket, looking at it questioningly before putting it back. I whimper at that and he pulls it back out. I smile and he sighs and sits the stuff on the bed.

He pulls my hoodie over my head then stares down at me, or, more specifically, my neck.

"We need to get that collar off of you." He reaches for my neck and I take a step back. He pauses then moves forward again, but I take another step back.

"Sh-i-suuuu…nnngh…nnngh…noouuu…" I shake my head. He pauses again, his determined eyes softening.

He sighs, smiling a little as he pats my head. "Alright, baby steps."

I smile and roll onto my back, holding my legs up a bit for him to take my pants off. He chuckles a little and pulls them down, grabs my skinny jeans from the bed and puts them on me. His struggle amused me.

He pulls my shirt over my head and helps me slip my arms into the sleeves, the same with my precious jacket. Shizu-chan picks up my hands and looks at my rings.

"Have you been wearing these the whole time?" I nod and smile, removing my hand from his and pulling myself onto the bed, holding my arms out to be carried. He smiles gently at me, patting my head as he turns his back to me, letting me get another piggyback ride.

He slips on his shoes as he leaves; locking the door behind himself and heads on to the sushi place we walked by earlier.

—Page Break—

"Hey ShizuShizu!" Erika shouts as she and the rest of the group sees us. We walk in, Shizu-chan skipping the greetings other than a nod and the big man, Simon, leads us all to a table. Shizu-chan sits me down at the table and I wait for him to take a seat before crawling on the pillow next to his.

I smile at him as they all read the menu. I glance at it too but it's all just a bunch of scribbles to my eyes. I turn back to Shizu-chan and smile.

"So Izaya, do you know what you want?" Erika asks me. I blink at her then look to Shizu-chan.

"Sh-i-suuuu…" Dammit! He smiles.

"Do you know what kind of sushi you want?" he asks me. I nod. Ootoro! I smile.

"Ooootuuu…" ugh, "Ootuurrrooo…" the look on his face says he knows what I want even though I said it wrong.

Simon walks up, smiling and speaking weird but far better than me, then walks away to get our orders.

"Izaya, that's a really pretty collar, where did you get it?" Erika asks then turns to Walker, grabbing his arm, her eyes gleaming. "I want a collar like that one!" and then they went off about some other people I've never heard of talking about things that make little to no sense, forgetting the rest of us.

I look at Shizu-chan as he talks to Kadota and Saburo, smiling. A familiar tingling sensation over comes me and I whimper.

"Sh-i-sszzuuu…ngh…" I bite my lip and look at him pleadingly and, thankfully, this time he knows what I want. He picks me up and takes me to the bathroom, pulling down my pants and underwear, turning on the sink, covering his ears and turning his back to me.

I pee and after the two minutes he gives me runs out, turns back to me, fixing me up, flushing the toilet and helping me wash my hands, then carries me back to the table just as Simon sits our food down.

He sits me down and I crawl onto my pillow as he sits on his own. No one asks questions but by the looks on their faces I know they want to. We all start to eat, and they chat amongst themselves as well.

"Sszzu…szzuuu…zzzuuu…zu…zu…" I smile and look at Shizu-chan. "Sh-i-zu!" he smiles.

"-O. don't forget the 'o'," he reminds me.

"Shi-zuuu-chhhhannn. Shiz-u-chaaan. Shi-zu-chan. Shizu-chan!" I smile and continue saying the first word I've said correctly.

"Kya~ Shizu-chan~ That's so cute~!" Erika says happily but the look on Shizu-chan's face says otherwise and I start to feel bad when they all begin laughing at his nickname.

He growls and tells them to shut the fuck up while I lower my head in shame. I've made him mad. This is another reason why I shouldn't talk. I can't say anything wrong if I'm silent all the time.

I wish Shi-Shi and Akaba still loved me. I wish I was back home…

_A/N Poor Izaya, he was trying so hard too! Your thoughts?_

_~Cerise_


	4. Chapter 4

Shizu-chan carries me on his back as we head home, saying goodbye to the group. I haven't said anything since my mistake, only nodding and shaking my head when necessary and smiling so no one knew I was disappointed with myself.

Shizu-chan hasn't really talked to me much either. Not that I'm surprised, the few times I did get in trouble, Shi-Shi and Akaba wouldn't talk to me either.

I nuzzle into his neck, savoring his smell because I'm probably not going to be held by him for a while after this. I really shouldn't have tried to talk, or at least shouldn't have used his nickname. I'm done talking. I don't like it. I like being silent, plus I don't get into trouble when I'm silent.

Shizu-chan unlocks his door and takes his shoes off at the entrance. I slip off his back and sit at his feet, waiting for my punishment. "C'mon." I follow after him silently.

He walks into the bedroom and picks me up, putting me onto the bed. He slips my shirt over my head and I roll onto my back and lift my legs so he can take off my pants. His struggle isn't as amusing this time.

He slips my hoodie back over my head, helping me with the arms then helps me into the shorts. He strips to his boxers then into some running pants. I sit on the bed, still waiting.

He walks out of the room and across the hall, into the bathroom. I remain where I am. He comes back after a moment and because I didn't hear the shower or the toilet, I assume he brushed his teeth. He picks me up and carries me to the bathroom next.

"Can you brush your teeth or do you need help?" he asks. In reply, I grab my toothbrush and offer a hesitant smile. He smiles back and holds me by my underarms as I brush my teeth.

Once I'm finished, he carries me back to bed and throws the cover over the both of us. I lay my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat and breathing as he drifts off to sleep, petting my head slowly until he finally looses consciousness.

I lay awake for most of the night, thoughts of how no one wants me and how I only make people mad on my mind before I follow Shizu-chan's lead and fall asleep.

—Page Break—

I wake up when Shizu-chan's alarm clock goes off, nearly scaring the life out of me. Shizu-chan doesn't move for a moment, then his brows slowly furrow and he peaks an eye open, meeting my eyes, then his gaze drifts to the alarm, turning the horrid contraption off.

He gets out of bed and stretches, scratching the back of his head as he gazes down at me. I sit on the bed, staring up at him. He's seriously tall.

"'Morning." Then he picks me up and carries me to the kitchen. He sits me down and opens the fridge, pulling out a bottle of milk, chugging it down. When he's done he throws the bottle away and pulls out another, offering it to me.

"Want some?" he asks. I've never had milk before; I've always had juice and black coffee. I reach out for it then stare. How did Akaba use to open these? I poke the top but nothing happens. I look up as Shizu-chan pulls something else out of the fridge; a carton of eggs and cheese.

"Want some scrambled eggs?" he asks and I nod then turn my focus back to the bottle in my hands. After twisting it and nothing happening, I get frustrated and begin gnawing on it, hoping something will happen but the bottle is plucked from my hands.

Shizu-chan pops the top off the bottle and hands it back to me before returning to the stove, cooking the eggs.

I take a sip and nearly gag at the overly sweet taste of the milk but when I look up at Shizu-chan's calm face I think back to last night when he was so mad over a silly little nickname. I take a breath and begin chugging down the milk as he had, hoping the faster I drink it, the quicker the taste will go away.

When I finish I hold the bottle up. Shizu-chan glances over at me then takes the bottle and throws it away, smiling a little. "You really like milk, huh?"

I shake my head timidly, hoping he doesn't get mad. His smile falls and a questioning look comes over his face. "If you don't like it then why did you drink it all?" A sizzling sound echoes through the room and he rushes back to the food, swearing quietly, making me feel worse for distracting him.

I crawl over and sit at his feet, watching as he puts cheese onto the eggs. He looks down at me. "So, why did you drink the milk if you didn't like it?" I turn away from him, staring at my hands. He sighs. "If you wanted something else, you could have just asked, you didn't have to drink it," he tells me. I nod, not looking up.

He takes the eggs off the stove and puts half and half onto two plates then sets them on the table, picking me up and sitting me on a chair. We eat in silence and then when we finish, he picks me up and carries me to the bedroom, sitting me on the bed. I wonder if he knows I could have gotten onto and off of the chair and bed on my own.

He begins to get dressed in a formal looking outfit with a bowtie, like the one he wore yesterday, and then picks me up again, taking us to the bathroom to brush our teeth. Once done he looks down at me.

"Do you need to use the bathroom? I won't be back for a few hours and I don't want you to pee on my carpet." I blush when he says that. I have enough control of my bladder to not pee on the floor…but I do have to pee.

—Page Break—

Shizu-chan has been gone for a few hours now. I've been bored ever since he left. Is this how it's going to be every day? Me sitting here waiting for him to return? I slump to the floor in front of the no-go zone. How boring…

I hear the door knob jiggle as it's unlocked. "I'm home!" Shizu-chan calls out as he walks in and takes his shoes off at the entrance. I crawl over to him and sit at his feet, smiling. He smiles and pets my head.

He picks me up by my underarms, holding me to where my feet are resting on the floor. "Let's see if we can get you to start walking," he tells me as he sits me back down. "Turn around." I turn so my back is facing him. "Life your arms." I lift my arms and he grasps my hands. "Hold my hands as tight as you need." And then he's lifting me up.

My feet are barely touching the floor but are slowly adding more pressure. I don't like the way it feels so I bend my knees to sit back down.

"No Izaya, lock your knees in place, you need to learn to walk."

Why? Why do I need to learn to walk? Why do I need to learn to talk? I've been doing fine so far, haven't I? I didn't ask for this. I was happy with the life I had. Does no one care about what I want?

…Who am I kidding? I'm just the pet. I have to just suck it up and do as my master asks of me.

With a silent sigh, I attempt to lock my knees in place as Shizu-chan adds more pressure to my legs. I whimper when it becomes too much for my weak muscles and squeeze Shizu-chan's hands. He lets up some pressure but my feet remain on the floor.

His thumbs rub against my hands reassuringly. "Alright, take a step forward." I swallow and bring my left knee forward, the bottom half of my leg moving with it. "Good, now put your weight onto that leg. That's it, you're doing it. Now bring your other leg beside it. Great!"

Shizu-chan praises me for taking "my first step" and I merely smile at his enthusiasm. I need coffee… He sets me back onto my knees and pets my head, ruffling my hair.

"During the day, when I'm not here, I want you to practice your walking by pulling yourself up and taking a few steps with the aid of a tall object like the table or couch," Shizu-chan tells me as he walks into the kitchen.

I crawl after him and sit at his feet as he raids the fridge for the things he needs to make us dinner.

—Page Break—

It's been a week since the first, and last, time I tried to walk. Shizu-chan hasn't noticed I haven't spoken or walked and I'm just waiting until he _does_ notice and starts to enforce it.

I don't mean to disobey him; I just don't want to be forced from my comfort zone. I've never needed to walk or talk and now that I'm living with him, he's taking away everything I know and trying to rewrite my whole life.

I just want to go home. Shizu-chan is nice but he isn't the kind of master I need. I need Shi-Shi and Akaba, they knew what I needed, what I was thinking, how to take care of me. Shizu-chan is trying to break all my habits, trying to teach me things that scare me. I don't like it at all.

I want to go home…

Shizu-chan pours a cup of water over my hair and then begins massaging my scalp as he mixes the shampoo and water together, cleaning my hair. I have my head tipped back slightly to keep any soap from getting in my eyes.

Even though this isn't his first time bathing me, he's still blushing like mad. Looking into his chocolate eyes, I can see how embarrassing this is for him and it makes me smile a little. He's putting forth so much effort to take care of me.

…I need to stop complaining. Shizu-chan is trying his hardest to "help" me. And I guess I could have gotten a horrible new master who treated me like dirt so I should be grateful.

"Tip you head back," he tells me and I tip my head under the water and run my fingers through my hair to get all the shampoo out. When I come back up he pours another cup of clean water onto my hair. His eyes lock with mine and he offers me a small smile.

I feel a small flutter in my chest and a weird feeling in my stomach; it's an odd sensation that I've been getting all week. My gaze falls from his eyes a little ways and lands on his lips.

Before I really stop to think about what I'm doing, I lean forward and press my lips to his. Before he really has time to register what's happened, I pull back and stare at his face, waiting with a blank expression to see his reaction.

His blush slowly disappears and he continues staring down at me, a slightly shocked look on his face that melts away with time as he smiles down gently at me. I'm not sure what I was expecting but I…I don't think that was it.

He pulls the plug and the water slowly drains from the tub and once it's all gone, he rinses the suds off of me. He sits me on the edge of the tub then grabs my big fluffy towel, wrapping it around me before carrying me to the bedroom and sitting me on the bed.

He helps me dress into my pajamas for the night then goes to take his own shower, returning shortly after. He dresses in his own pajamas and towel dries both of our hair.

I curl up on my side of the bed and he stretches out on his. Once he has the blanket over us, I cling to his side, resting my head on his warm chest. He chuckles, as always, and kisses the top of my head, a first.

"'Night, Izaya."

Good night Shizu-chan.

_A/N So cute~ And for real, youse guise, I love your reviews, they make me so happy! X3_

_~Cerise_


	5. Chapter 5

I wake up when I hear someone knocking on the door. I shake Shizu-chan until he wakes up. He sits up and scratches his head, looking at my groggily with a cute, confused expression on his face.

"What is it?" he asks in his morning voice. It makes me blush a little. Everything about Shizu-chan has been affecting me in an odd way lately, not like it ever did with Shi-Shi and Akaba, this is way different. There's another knock on the door and I crawl over Shizu-chan and off the bed, heading towards it, a bit angry at whoever it is for waking me up. Shizu-chan chuckles and follows me.

I sit at his feet as he opens the door and when I see who it is, my heart soars and a face split grin graces my lips. Without thinking, the words spill from my mouth, "Shi-Shi! Akaba!"

Shizu-chan smiles when I speak and Shi-Shi and Akaba look a little stunned. Akaba snaps out of it first, picking me up and hugging me tight.

"We missed you little guy!" he says happily, kicking off his shoes and walking to the no-go zone. He plops down and I try to avoid touching it as Shi-Shi takes off his shoes and walks in at a leisurely pace, Shizu-chan closing the door behind him.

"Did you come by to see Izaya or is this business?" Shizu-chan asks as he walks to the kitchen to get his morning milk, scratching his bare chest.

"I came to see how you were progressing and Akabayashi came to see Izaya." Shi-Shi looks at me with his scrutinizing eyes. I smile at him. His ruff exterior cracks a little as his gaze softens and he smiles a bit then pets my head affectionately.

"It's kind of cute that he still uses our nicknames," Akaba chuckles and Shizu-chan leans against the wall, drinking his milk.

"Has he given you a nickname?" Shi-Shi asks and before Shizu-chan can comment, I smile wide.

"Shizu-chan!" he groans at that and Shi-Shi and Akaba laugh. I knew that was a bad idea, but what did I do? I went and said it anyway. Now Shizu-chan is mad at me again. Good job Izaya!

I must look upset because they stop laughing. I feel a tug on my collar and turn to Akaba who looks confused.

"Why didn't you take his collar off?" he asks Shizu-chan.

Shizu-chan shrugs, "He doesn't want me to take off his collar or his rings."

"You just have to be stern with him." Shi-Shi says and leans back on the no-go zone, making himself at home. I squirm off Akaba's lap and lay down on the floor; the carpet is more comfortable than you would think, and it's cleaner.

"Do you want us to get it off for you?" Akaba asks. Shizu-chan shakes his head; it makes me smile a little.

"He'll let me take them off of him when he's ready." That makes me smile more and blush a little; he's taking my feelings into consideration. "But I do have a question. What does he like to drink, the most I can get him to say is 'Shizu-chan' 'no' and 'ootoro' and the last two he is still working on."

"He likes coffee, black, hot or cold, he isn't too picky about that part and apple juice, he loves it," Akaba chuckles. Shizu-chan nods and goes back into the kitchen to throw away his empty bottle.

"So what's up?" Shizu-chan asks as he sits down where he was previously standing, leaning his back on the wall and stretching his legs out, setting them apart a bit.

I crawl from my spot and onto his lap, sitting on him with my legs on either side of his, nuzzling his neck. I blush when I feel him put his arms around me as he converses with Shi-Shi and Akaba.

I breath in his scent, it's so nice, and he's losing his cigarette smell a bit. I think he might be trying to stop.

"Heiwajima-san, why are you sitting on the floor in your own home?" Shi-Shi asks.

"Izaya doesn't like the couch; he refuses to sit on it."

"That doesn't answer my question."

I'm sure Shizu-chan is blushing because his neck has gotten a bit warmer and he hasn't replied.

"T-the carpet is comfy?" I giggle at the lame excuse and Shizu-chan's arms tighten around gently, making me smile.

"…Ok," Shi-Shi replies.

I yawn and switch positions in Shizu-chan's lap, so he's cradling me and my head is resting on his chest.

—Page Break—

I wake up when I feel someone lifting me up. "Nghh."

"He's such a light sleeper," Akaba sighs and gives me a hug. Why does he seem sad all of a sudden? Shi-Shi comes up and pets my head, his touch still tender as always. He smoothes down my hair and gazes into my eyes as he speaks.

"Our deal still stands, if you can't change him, we get him back," his eyes cut to Shizu-chan, "regardless of your feelings."

Shizu-chan takes me from Akaba and nods stiffly to Shi-Shi. Once they have their shoes on and leave, Shizu-chan lets out a heavy sigh and his body relaxes, and it's then I realize how stiff he really was.

I look into his eyes, my worry obvious. He merely smiles and kisses my lips. I blush. He kissed me, not the other way around, he did it…_He_ kissed _me_. That odd sensation takes over my chest and stomach. I smile and hug his neck tight and he chuckles.

I'm so happy I could puke! Is that why my stomach feels weird? Am I about to puke? I don't feel sick to my stomach…Still, I'm happy.

"Let's get some breakfast and then we can work on your talking or walking…Actually, which would you rather work on?" he asks me as he carries me to the kitchen. I'm sure he's tired of carrying me around all the time, even I get heavy eventually.

"Wwwwook…wwwookkk…" he smiles and nods even though I wasn't even close to saying the word right. Wok? That's nothing like 'walking'; it isn't even the whole word.

After breakfast, Shizu-chan goes out to get me coffee, when he comes back and he's carrying an arm full of coffees and another arm full of apple juice, I feel my heart flutter a little. He went to all that trouble, just for me…I smile and sit at his feet as he puts them all in the fridge, wishing that I could have helped him a little; that looked heavy.

He turns to me, a smile on his face as he opens a bottle of coffee and hands it to me. It's been so long since I've had coffee. I almost want to drink it slow to savor it, but once the liquid hits my tongue; I can't stop myself from chugging it.

Shizu-chan's smile widens when I hand him the empty bottle, a satisfied look on my face.

"Alright, before we do anymore actual walking, let's try to build up some of your muscles, so you'll be able to support yourself when we start again."

—Page Break—

Shizu-chan is lying on his back in the living room, his knees bent and arms folded behind his head. I'm sitting beside him, watching him curiously.

"We're going to start by doing sit ups, alright? You do it like this." He proceeds to show me how to do a sit up by doing a few in a row then turns to me. "Your turn."

I lie back and bend my knees, then bring my arms behind my head. I attempt to bring myself up but only manage to lift my head. I try again and again but nothing happens. Shizu-chan holds out his hands for me to take, which I do.

"I'll help you until you can do it by yourself," he tells me and slowly lifts me up and then lowers me back down. He waits until I try to pull myself up, and his firm hold helps me complete the task. I get he doesn't want to help too much because he wants me to do this on my own, but that first one alone wore me out.

"Good job, let's do another." I shake my head. He gets a worried look, "What's wrong?" I shake my head again. "If you're tired already, we can wait a bit until you're ready for the next one," he tells me. "It gets easier with time, I promise, so if you keep it up, after maybe a month or so, you won't even need my help to do it anymore." He's smiling and I can tell that he really believes I can do it, but he doesn't understand how hard this is. The most I've ever had to do was pull myself up onto things and crawl everywhere.

After I catch my breath I nod my head and begin to pull myself up again with Shizu-chan's aid. After making it to my knees, I let out a huff of breath and Shizu-chan places a kiss on my lips. "Breath out as you come up, breath in as you go down. Each one you do, you get a reward." He places one more kiss on my lips. "Because you didn't get a reward for your first sit up," he smiles as he explains this.

I blush like mad and fall back onto my back. Shizu-chan chuckles and after taking a deep breath, I slowly breath out as I force myself to lean back up to my knees, I blow out the rest of my air. Shizu-chan kisses my forehead instead of my lips this time and I pout.

Shizu-chan takes one look at my pouting face and bursts out laughing, making me pout harder and turn away from him. After a few seconds and him still laughing his ass off, my pouting begins to fade away and I smile as I glance at him from the corner of my eyes.

He's no longer holding my hands but his stomach as he lies on his back, eyes squinted shut as he laughs to his heart's content. I honestly don't think he's had a good long laugh in a long time and just don't have the heart to stop him.

I wrap my arms that had been resting at my sides around my legs and pull my knees to my chest, smiling as I watch him.

I would love to see him like this all the time. Always laughing and smiling. I like when he kisses me too, it makes my heart flutter and I get a funny feeling in my stomach, one I'm beginning to like. I realize that maybe I'm ok with changing who I am, just a bit. I'm ok with changing for the better, as long as I'm with Shizu-chan.

_A/N …I don't really know what to put here so…Leave a review, because you know how happy they make me! :D_

_~Cerise_


	6. Chapter 6

"One more, c'mon, you can do it," Shizu-chan coaches and I struggle but after a second or two more I finally make it all the way to my knees and heave out a breath, falling back before Shizu-chan can even give me my reward.

"Good job Izaya! You did fifteen all by yourself!" Shizu-chan smiles as he hugs me tight…maybe a little too tight.

"Sh-Shizu—" I gasp and he loosens his grip immediately, looking worried.

"Shit, I'm sorry," he says quickly and I smile at him, easing his worry. He smiles a little when he's sure I'm ok and finally gives me my reward.

I've been living with this man for almost two months and I still can't get used to his strength. I don't understand how someone as non-buff as himself could squeeze me so tight and help me fumble around awkwardly on my feet all hours of the day and never become tired, nor do I understand how he doesn't realize that's he's a bit too strong for his own good, but I'm adjusting.

Shi-Shi and Akaba haven't come to visit again but Shizu-chan promised me that he would call them over when he thought I was ready to take my first steps on my own. To be honest, I'm trying my hardest to walk because I want to see their impressed faces. And see Shizu-chan smile.

He always smiles when I do something on my own, I'm happy when he's happy. I think he even warmed up to his nickname because he doesn't get mad about it anymore; he actually smiles a bit when I say it.

Shizu-chan doesn't go out to smoke much anymore either, it makes me happy. He doesn't stink.

He still goes out during most days to work though but he always comes home with sushi for us. I get ootoro!

Recently I've gotten pretty good at doing sit ups on my own, pushups are a challenge but I'm managing. Shizu-chan still has to help me push myself up though. But back to the sit ups; Shizu-chan stopped helping me pull myself up and began to merely hold my feet down while I do the work, it didn't go too well at first but now I'm doing better. I just did fifteen all on my own!

"I'm so proud of you Izaya," he praises me more than I think I deserve, but it's nice so I don't complain. He continues placing kisses on my lips and I giggle at all the affection. I've seen Shi-Shi's wife do this once before when she came to visit him at the apartment. I don't know what it was for but whatever it was, she was really happy about it and was placing kisses all over his face. He was smiling a little too which is rare for Shi-Shi so Akaba and I stayed out of the way in my room while they had their moment.

Shizu-chan and I have shared a lot of kisses lately, and they always leave me feeling giddy.

His phone rings and he slowly pulls away from me before going to retrieve it. I recognize the ringtone; I think that the man's name is…Tom? Maybe?

"Hey Tom." Haha got it right!

Shizu-chan is silent for a moment before he cuts his eyes to me. "I don't think I can do that Tom…" he trails off.

After a moment Shizu-chan walks past me and into the bedroom, closing the door behind him. He's never done that before so whatever it is must be important. I don't intrude; instead I crawl over to the back of the couch and reach up to grab the top.

I take a deep breath and pull. Using both my thigh and arm muscles, I pull with all my might and after a short while, get myself into a standing sort of position. My knees wobble for a bit but soon I get them steady.

Once I unlock my knees, I fall back to the ground. Ugh! The most I can do is stand right now and it's with the help of furniture. But I guess its progress so I can't be too mad. I turn back onto my knees and wait by the no-go zone for Shizu-chan to return from our room.

Shizu-chan comes back after a while and he looks kind of sad, I don't like it. I crawl to him and lift my arms up to him, offering a hug.

He gives me a sad smile and picks me up. That's not what I wanted but beggars can't be choosers. I rest my head on his shoulder but turn so I'm facing him.

"Shizu-chan, watts wrog?" I ask him, I'm still working on pronouncing some letters and sounds, but I'm getting better.

He doesn't look at me, but at the wall in front of him. "Don't be mad at me." I don't like the way he starts his explanation. "But I need you to stay with Shiki and Akabayashi for a while."

"W-watt?" I'm being abandoned again? I cling to Shizu-chan, near tears at the thought. "Nou, nou, nou, I'll be guud, please Shizu-chan. Don' ged rid of me, please."

"Izaya, what are you—I'm not getting rid of you." He holds me closer to him, hugging me and calming me almost as a mother would her child after having a bad dream. "Tom is having me go out of the city with him for a while. It won't be long, but I need someone we can both trust to watch you for a while and I think Shiki and Akabayashi are the best bet we have."

I nod sadly, because I can't trust myself to speak. I don't know that I can believe his words. How do I know that he won't just leave me? How do I know that he'll come back? I thought Shi-Shi and Akaba would love me forever but they got rid of me, how do I know Shizu-chan won't do the same?

He smiles and calls Shi-Shi, keeping me on his hip; I hug his neck while one of his arms is around me to hold me up.

"Hey Shiki, I have to go out of town for a while and I won't be able to watch Izaya, could you watch him until I get back?" he pauses then frowns. "Well if you consider it returning him to your care I'll just have someone else watch him." Shizu-chan hangs up even though we can both here Shi-Shi's almost panicked voice calling out to him before the line goes dead.

Shizu-chan calls someone else immediately and they pick up rather quickly, I here no noise on the other end so I wait for Shizu-chan to speak.

"Celty, hand the phone to Shinra." The woman without a head and the doctor? "Shinra, I'm going to be out of town for a while, can you two watch Izaya?" there's silence for a moment before I hear mumbling. "Great, thanks guys, I'll get his things together and we'll be there in a few."

He hangs up and I slip from his side down to the floor. Shizu-chan ruffles my hair and wanders into our room to pack my things back up so I can be moved again. Three homes in not even three months' time, why does this feel so wrong?

I have a bad feeling in my stomach and it worries me a bit, but I can do nothing about it because Shizu-chan has to work and I can't get in the way of that, I'll just have to deal with the change for a while. I can do that, it isn't permanent. I just have to stay positive. Shizu-chan isn't going to leave me.

He walks back into the living room after a bit with my bags packed back up. He sits in front of me and I cling myself to his back, knowing that's what he wants. He stands up and I tighten my grip a bit more than necessary, though he makes no comment. He slips his shoes on at the door then walks out, locking it behind him.

Goodbye to yet another home…

—Page Break—

"Welcome!" an overly happy voice shouts as the door is opened, revealing the doctor. Shizu-chan doesn't say a greeting, just walks in, taking his shoes off at the door and walking into the apartment, me still on his back and my bags still in his hand.

Celty is sitting on the couch, and when she 'turns' to us she types something on her PDA and shows us more lines that I still don't understand and Shizu-chan chuckles, sitting the bags on the ground. I slide from his back and crawl around so that I'm in front of the couch.

Celty pats the spot next to her and I pull myself onto the couch, much faster than I used to thanks to my newly developed muscles. Shizu-chan gawks at me for a moment before plopping himself onto the seat next to me, throwing his arms over the back on the couch.

"What's so wrong with my couch that you refuse to sit on it?" he grumbles and I giggle at his pouting. He glances at me from the corner of his eyes and smiles a little at my giggling.

Shinra walks into the living room a few moments later and sets tea onto the coffee table. Shizu-chan and Shinra take a cup and I remain in my spot, watching Shizu-chan.

I really hope he comes back for me.

Shizu-chan explains to them what they need to do to take care of me, the things I can do on my own, what I am currently learning to do, my likes and dislikes and whatnot.

Shizu-chan gets up to leave and I grab hold of him in a hug, and refuse to let go. "My Shizu-chan," I whisper into his side, nuzzling his shoulder. He hugs me back and I cling to him more. I don't want him to leave, I want him to stay.

"I'll be back soon Izaya," he promises, but soon is still too long.

"Shizu-chan…don' lea me…please" I whisper pitifully into his neck. I'm being abandoned again. God, am I really that much trouble? I wish someone would just take me away so everyone I care about wouldn't have to put up with me anymore…

Shizu-chan ruffles my hair and smiling his beautiful, dazzling smile at me, takes his leave, and I sit silently on the couch, hating myself just a bit more every second he's gone.

Celty and Shinra go about their day, doing as Shizu-chan said, to let me do as I please until I ask for help, and I sit on the couch moping.

My stomach growls after a while but I ignore it, I don't feel like eating. I know I'll have to eventually but I'm not in the mood right now.

I remove myself from the couch, feeling my muscles cramp a little from being in the same position for hours on end, and stretch on the floor.

I roll onto my back and hook my feet under the couch. I fold my arms under my head and take a deep breath. I slowly breathe out as I pull myself up then suck it back in as I lay myself down and repeat.

I do this until I start to feel really hot and sweaty. With a struggle, I tug my pullover off and lay it beside me, before going back to doing sit ups. I stop once I hit twenty, knowing I've reached my limit and glance down at my stomach, seeing faint abs there, and smile at my progress.

"Izaya, dinner!" Shinra calls out from the kitchen and after slipping my pullover back on, I mosey my way over, still a little breathless from the sit ups. I pull myself into a chair and wait for food to be placed in front of me.

That night, as I lay in bed, I can't help but feel that odd feeling in my stomach again…nor that sense of dread that begins to overcome me as sleep runs further away.

"Shizu-chan…" a lone tear slips from my eyes as I hug my extra pillow. It's cold and soft, not warm and firm like Shizu-chan's chest.

I know something bad is going to happen, deep down, I just know it.

_~Cerise_


	7. Chapter 7

Shinra went shopping and Celty had a job, so right now, I'm all alone in their apartment, waiting for one or both of them to get back. I'm still in their guest bedroom, 'my room', and I haven't left since waking up this morning, I wasn't very hungry. My stomach still twisted and jerked, dark thoughts clouded my mind, and it was affecting my mood and appetite.

I hear the door to the apartment open and I close my eyes, figuring it is probably Celty that returned home first because there is no greeting upon entry. I hear walking around, hurried footsteps throughout the apartment. I sit up and begin to get out of bed, figuring she's looking for something and needs help.

Before I can even get out of bed, a man I don't know peaks his head in and smirks when he sees me.

"Found him!" he calls out to whoever else is here with him. Three other men walk into the room with him, all carrying various weapons with them. Another, with spiked blonde hair, begins to speak to me, using a calming voice that completely contradicts the situation and my nerves.

"Just keep calm alright? We won't want to have to hurt Shiki's _precious pet_," he reaches forward and grabs my collar, jerking me towards him. He hooks a leash to me and moves backwards, pulling my body from the bed. I fall after him, hurting my knees, not that they care.

"Let's get out of here before that nerd and his freak girlfriend show back up," The one with flaming red hair suggests, glancing at the door.

Are they stealing me from Shizu-chan and taking me back to Shi-Shi and Akaba? Shi-Shi won't be happy when he sees the bruises on my knees. Shizu-chan won't be happy either when he finds out I'm gone. I don't even know that I want to go back to Shi-Shi and Akaba; I know I love them, but I've come to love Shizu-chan as well and I would miss him a lot.

And why are they carrying weapons? Were they going to hurt Shinra and Celty? Shi-Shi wouldn't do that to them, he works too closely with them to do that.

Suddenly, that odd feeling of foreboding overcomes me again and I being to shake in fear. I don't trust these people at all. I begin to back away from the men, cowering away, anything to just _get_ _away_. The blonde tugs my leash, forcing me forward, then kneels to my level, his face inches from mine.

"Listen hear mutt, and listen well. We are going to take you with us whether you like it or not and we don't mind roughing you up a bit if you put up a fight. So why don't you be a good little pet and save us all the trouble, alright?" his smile frightens me more than his words. I give a small nod and he pats my head then stands back up, walking out and tugging me along behind him.

I tremble the whole way to their van, knowing this may not end well for me. I can barely talk, I can barely stand, I can't read and I can't write. I won't be able to defend myself against the one of them, let alone four, nor when they have all these weapons with them. Once they have me in the back of the van and are sitting in their seats, my leash tied to the panic handle at the top so I can't move around, they begin to drive away and I begin to cry silently.

Never before have I felt so helpless.

—Page Break—

"C'mon!" one of the brunettes, the one with green eyes, shouts angrily at the leash he tied, struggling to undo his knot. Every time he pulls at the leash, it pulls at my collar and the collar pulls at my neck, which I'm sure will be bruised as well by the time he gets it loose.

The blonde walks up and undoes the knot quickly, smirking at green eyes, who is pouting, as he snatches the leash from the blonde's hands and tugs me along. The asphalt burns my hands and knees so I try to keep up with them.

They tug at my leash anyway, causing me to stumble a few times before we finally enter the large building. I have a cut knee and possible burns on my hands and knees, maybe even the tops of my feet from dragging them behind me, but I won't know until I can get a look at them.

Once we enter, I realize that the only difference from this building and outside is the temperature. The floor is still rough concrete, only cold. They lead me down a long hall and drag me into a cold, poorly lit room with a place to hook my leash, as they are doing now, and a place to sleep, or rather, a ratty blanket they folded up and placed in the corner.

The blonde is handed the backpack that the brunette with brown eyes had been wearing this whole time and closes the door behind us.

He smiles his creepy smile that I'm sure under better circumstances would still be just as creepy and unhooks my leash from my collar for a moment before taking my hoodie off me. He sits it beside him before pushing me over and taking my shorts and underwear off, hooking my sock with his thumbs so they come off as well.

He looks at my rings for a while, just staring before stuffing my clothes into the front pocket of the bag and zipping it up then unzipping the back and taking out a bottle of clear liquid.

"This probably won't hurt a bit but will be uncomfortable, but get over it, alright?" No it's not alright! Quit asking when you know it isn't!

He hooks my leash back grabs my hips, digging his nails into my flesh as he jerks my backside to face him. A dark blush covers my face as I hear the bottle pop open. The next thing I know, I have a small, cold object slipping inside of me, being forced in deep by his finger.

I yelp at the feeling because this one of the most uncomfortable feelings I've ever felt and then his finger leaves me, but that small thing is still inside me. I begin to panic a bit because I don't know what this thing is or why he left it in me. What if it never comes out?

I hear him hum to himself as he takes something else out of his bag and I'm almost too scared to even think about what it could be. The thing inside me begins to vibrate, very strong, against something inside me that makes me double over from the overwhelming sensation.

This is weird, I don't know what's happening to me and I'm scared. Am I dying? What the hell did he put in me?!

He flips me over then, and my blush deepens. He still has his creepy smile on as he slips a black thing around my growing penis. Why is it growing? What's that thing he put on me? What's happening? Why is he doing this?

I being to hyperventilate and his smile vanishes. He pulls me up by my collar and slaps me harshly against the face. It hurts. It hurts a lot.

"Stop being a pussy, I'm sure Shiki did the same things to you, this is no different from that…well, it is, but get over it."

Shi-Shi never did anything like this to me, neither did Akaba. They treated me perfectly, nothing like this. Tears fill my eyes as the strange feeling in my ass intensifies.

"Nnn…" did I moan? Why did I moan? I look down at my penis and see its standing straight up and leaking. Why is it leaking? Is it broken? Am I _peeing_?

The blonde man chuckles and places his finger on the tip, and I hiss at the feeling. It feels…good. "It's only been less than five minutes and you're already like this…Shiki has been neglecting you lately hasn't he?" I don't know what he's talking about, all I know is that something is happening inside of me, around my stomach, and it causes my hips to jerk up and another moan to escape me. He chuckles again. "Awe, poor mutt. Do you wanna cum?" he asks as he fingers the tip of my weeping penis some more.

Cum? What does he mean cum?

Tears track down my face and he laughs at my obvious discomfort. "Haaa…nnngh…!" my hip jerk again and I feel my body stiffen but nothing happens and I begin to cry harder, though I'm not totally sure why.

He laughs and stands up, picking the bag up with him, and takes his leave, not saying another thing to me, just leaving my lying on my back with a vibrator of sorts deep in my ass and something tight around my penis, keeping me from 'cumming', and though I don't know what it is exactly, I want that most right now.

—Page Break—

Over the past few…I don't know how longs, those four guys have come and gone, taking out and putting weird things in my ass, hitting me, cutting me, forcing me to do things against my will, and I've passed out multiple times from it.

That cock ring has only been taken off a few times and only because they have to feed and hydrate me as well as take me to the bathroom, and those two things sort of go hand in hand.

I feel so weak, I can barely turn my head to look at the door when they come in anymore, forget trying to stand or crawling; if I'm not eating or using the bathroom, I'm more than likely lying down crying.

I don't know how much more of this I can take. I crack my eyes open when Blondie walks in. He has a large dildo and what looks like a phone in his hand.

Tears fall from my eyes when I see the dildo, I don't even care why he has a phone; I just don't want that thing inside me. I don't want any more inside me. My body can't take it.

He sits beside my slumped over body, his smile on his face, and flips his phone open, calling a number, and putting the phone on speaker.

I can hear it dial, once, twice. "Hello?" It's Shi-Shi!

"Hnn…" Blondie rubs the tip of the dildo at my entrance, still leaking from previous penetrations.

"Hello?" Shi-Shi repeats.

"Hello Shiki~ Would you like to take a guess as to who I have here with me today?" Blondie asks condescendingly into the phone and before Shi-Shi can respond, he forces the dildo into me.

"Ahh!" I cry out.

"I'm sure you can guess who now. Would you like to know what I did? Here I'll give you a hint." And then it starts to vibrate, forcing more lewd moans from my mouth and tears from my eyes. I can't…

"Shi-Shi…nnngh…" My eyes close tight when the vibrations grow stronger. Shi-Shi is still silent, and I don't know if he's furious right now or just doesn't care.

"…W-what," he pauses to clear his throat and its then I know that's he's upset, and I feel bad that I'm the cause of his worry, "What do you want for him?" Shi-Shi asks and there is some yelling in the background that kind of sounds vaguely like Akaba and…Shizu-chan?

Blondie chuckles, "Oh, that's the best part. What I want is for you to suffer. I want you to know that I have your precious mutt here with me and my men." He pets my head as I pant and moan quietly, praying for this to be over soon. "He's a nice little addition; my men sure have taken to him. He has a nice mouth and a nice ass, though we may have to cut back on his ass a little, it's becoming too loose…" he almost sounds genuinely saddened by that fact. I know I am. "Well that was all I had to say, anything you would like to add mutt?" he asks and turns the phone towards me so they can hear me better.

A sob escapes me and before I can even begin to think of anything I could possibly want to say, I begin bawling on the cold floor, wails leaving me as I cry. I want this to end! I want to go home! I don't even care if I sound like a child right now, I hurt everywhere, I'm exhausted and I'm scared!

He hangs up his phone, frowning a little as though he were disappointed; maybe he expected a different reaction? I don't know. He turns to look at me and smiles again. He reaches forward and cups my cheek, tracing his thumb over my bottom lip. I quiet my sobs a bit, but I don't stop crying completely.

"Such a pretty face," he tells me then leans forward and kisses me, though I don't kiss back, I never do. When he pulls back, he wipes away a trail of tears only for them to start flowing again. "I love to see your pained, crying face." He moves me so I'm sitting on my knees with my hands on my thighs to hold myself up. He undoes his belt and pants, pulling his hard on from his underwear and pressing it to my lips.

Fresh tears begin falling again as I open my mouth to take him in. He moans as he tangles his fingers through my hair and thrusts into my mouth.

I hate this. Why would he call Shi-Shi? Why does he want to make him suffer? He begins the hit the back of my throat and the vibrator grows stronger yet again, ripping a moan from me. His hips jerk and he pulls back to cum on my face and in my hair.

Just more cum to add to the rest, dried or still wet, it's all over me. When he releases my hair, I slump back to the floor and feel my hips jerk as well but nothing happens because that damned ring. Everything becomes fuzzy as I watch him leave and then my world goes black once again.

_A/N Depressing…What is to become of our poor little pet?_

_~Cerise_


	8. Chapter 8

I think I'm dying. Honest to God, dying. I haven't had anything but cum in my stomach for a while now, they just stopped feeding me. I can barely move anymore, even with assistance. I'm in so much pain; I almost wish I _was_ dying.

Red Head walks in, looking almost worried for me like he always does, but he still hasn't brought food with him. He doesn't touch me, at all, if he can avoid it, he will but I don't think it's because he's disgusted by me, I think it's because he's worried that I might become scared of him; but what do I know? All he ever does is bring me food and water then takes me to the bathroom and back.

He sits beside my head, and stares into my dead eyes. I stare back, waiting for whatever he has to say or do, because really, that's all I can do.

"So…" he starts awkwardly, glancing away and back, "how are you doing?" he asks.

"K-kiiiiill m-m-me…" I whisper hoarsely and weakly, coughing harshly afterwards at the raw feeling in my throat, leaving me shaking and feeling the cold of the concrete seep into my abused skin. The look he gives me tells me he wasn't expecting a reply. He probably figured I couldn't talk because I haven't since I met them. After his shock wears away, he gives me a sad look, like he pities me. That look alone brings tears to my eyes. I want to die…

"H-hey, don't cry, it's going to be ok." I shake my head weakly. It's not ok and it's not going to _be_ ok. It will never be ok if I'm stuck here in this place. Before Red Head can respond, Blondie walks in, jerking his thumb to the door, signaling for Red Head to leave, as he walks up to me.

Even after Red Head leaves, Blondie just stands near me, watching me with his hands stuffed deep in the pockets of his jacket, looking almost bored, like he couldn't care less if I lived or die. He probably doesn't.

He pulls his phone out of his pocket, staring down at it for a moment, then flips it open and points it at me.

"Say cheese, mutt." And then he starts taking pictures. He hums after taking a few, then reaches into his sweatpants and pulls out his soft dick, stroking it to life. Once it's fully erect, he reaches down and pulls me up by my hair. I hiss in pain but its cut short by him thrusting into my mouth.

He takes more pictures with the hand his phone is in, and once he finds a picture he's satisfied with, he takes himself from my mouth and releases my hair. I crumble to the floor in a heap but, soon after, he's got my hips in his hands and is lining himself up with my entrance.

He thrusts into me, hard and fast, hitting that spot inside me. I moan quietly and let him finish himself off, cumming inside me. He pulls out and rolls me onto my back. He takes the cock ring off me and shocks me by stroking my erection.

It almost hurts but I still moan loudly at the action. "You've been such a good boy, you earned this little treat." And then I'm cumming in his hand. It feels good but it hurts, my whole body spasms and jerks and my vision goes white for a moment.

Once I come down from my high, Blondie speaks again. "That's _really_ thick, heh, I bet you feel better now don't you?" I'm too dazed to even acknowledge him at the moment. That's what it feels like to cum? If it hurts why do they do it? My unspoken question gets answered. "It'll feel a lot better when you aren't being denied orgasm multiple times a day."

He pockets the cock ring and his phone then pats my head. "You've been a good boy so I'll allow you to stop wearing the cock ring." He leaves me with those words, alone in my cold room.

Red Head walks in a few hours later with food and water for me, but the thought of eat sickens me and I turn my head as I throw up, stomach bile and cum coating the floor.

"Gross…" he scrunches his nose up, sitting away from me but pushing my food and water into my reach. I turn away from it and the man, feeling my mind go fuzzy.

I weakly crawl over to my ratty blanket and collapse. Red Head moves over to me and takes my hands, gazing at my rings. He removes them from my fingers and reads the engraving on the inside. "Sssstop," I protest but my voice is too hoarse, my throat too raw, and I cough.

"Kyouko and Shirou, who are they?" he asks. I can't read so I never knew what the engraving said, but after he tells me, I still don't know. I've never heard those names before in my life. Whose rings have I been wearing?

He puts the rings in his pocket and leaves, his job done with. I don't have much time to think after that, my mind too tired to even try. I just go to sleep, long since giving up hope that this was all a dream.

Because this is my reality, and no matter how cruel, I have to live with it.

—Page Break—

"Wake up!" Intense pain forms quickly in my stomach and I whimper when I realize that Blondie kicked me awake. I look up at him and see he's holding his phone to his ear, smirking evilly at whatever the person shouted at him.

He sits beside my body and places the phone on speaker for us both to hear.

"—of a bitch, you touch him again I'll rip your fucking head off, do you hear me goddamn it?!" Shizu-chan shouts angrily into the phone and Blondie chuckles.

"Oh, we both hear you loud and clear."

"Both? Izaya? Izaya if you're there, talk to me, say something." Shizu-chan sounds urgent, almost desperate, begging me to.

Before I can though, Blondie speaks for me. "How stupid are you, this little mutt can't talk. He hasn't said a damn thing since we got him. Though it's a nice change of pace to have a cum dump that doesn't scream about everything, little bitch here just takes it." Why is he so fucking horrible? I think as tears fill my eyes.

"Goddamn it! I swear to God when I find you, I'll fucking kill your sorry ass!" Blondie's smile widens.

"Ha, funny thing is, I'm not sorry. Anyhow, I'm assuming you got his rings yes?" he doesn't wait for a reply. "If Shiki can't guess who I am and what he did to get on my shit list next phone call, it'll be the little mutt's fingers you get in the mail next." And then he hangs up, frowning.

He turns to me, his brows furrowed curiously. "Speak," he commands.

My half-mast, dead eyes slowly trail up to meet his and I lick my chapped lips. "Plllleeeasssse…hhhommme…" I whisper hoarsely causing coughs to wrack through my small frame; once I stop my body begins shaking all over and my eyes tear up. I'm so cold…

"Pathetic," he scoffs and leaves me alone in this damned room to cry myself back to sleep.

"Cold…"

—Page Break—

The next day, Red Head leads me to the bathroom after finally getting me to eat. Though I get the feeling he was more worried about me being able to stomach it more than anything, seeing as it was just a bowl of soup, but it went down and stayed down nonetheless.

After letting me pee and helping me wash my hands, instead of leading me back to my room, he takes me to the room across the hall.

I've never been in this room before but once we walk in I almost cry out in joy. There's a shower and soap and towels and all that good stuff in here. I'm getting a bath! Finally! I haven't been washed since I got here I don't even know how long ago.

"This is long over do…" Red Head mutters as he hooks my leash to another latch in the wall and rolls his sleeves up to his elbows and pant legs up to his thighs. He turns on the water and once he dubs it warm enough, he turns the hose to me and kneels down to my level as he rises me off.

His touch is soft, almost like he's caressing me and it's so different from the rough touches I've been receiving. And the water, it's so warm. I miss these gentle touches and warmth; they're so rare to me nowadays.

Without think, I begin nuzzling into his touch, becoming desperate for it, for more. Red Head smiles gently at me as he grabs some shampoo and squirts it into his hand then massages it through my hair.

As he rinses it out, I watch as dried cum and muck roll away with the stream of water down the drain. To get the water out of my face, I shake my hair a bit, accidentally getting Red Head wet in the process. He pauses for a moment and I'm scared he's going to punish me but then he begins to laugh.

"You're just like a dog!" he cries as he laughs. I feel a little insulted but brush it off because I don't think he meant to be hurtful.

When his chuckles die down, he grabs a rag and pours some body wash onto it, a smile still on his face. He washes cum and dirt off my body, including more intimate areas, and then rinses the soap off.

"Don't shake," he warns as he gets up and grabs a towel to dry me off. Once he's done with my body, he towel dries my hair.

Sadly enough, sooner or later, I had to go back into my cold room, the previous warmth being ripped out of me as the familiar chill seeps back into my bones. Red Head leaves me, my leash again hooked to the latch, to sit on my ratty blanket, alone in this dark room.

I hate to admit it, but I already miss his touch.

_A/N Oh, the mixed feels. What will happen to our poor little Izaya after the next phone call? Find out next chapter!...Maybe! I haven't written it yet, we'll havta wait and see!_

_Penny for your thoughts: Should next chapter be Izaya POV or would you all like to see how Shiki, Akabayashi and Shizuo are handling things? Let me know!_

_~Cerise_


	9. Chapter 9

Shizuo punches a pillow for the twelfth and curses loudly. Shiki is typing furiously on his computer and Akabayashi is sitting on the couch trying not to have a breakdown. He didn't know how much more of this he could take. Izaya was too innocent for the real world. Why did this have to happen?

Shizuo looks down at the rings in his hand and curses again. When he finds that man, he is going to kill him. Fucking kill him! He turns to Shiki and asks the question that's been on his mind since the man sat down.

"What exactly are you doing?"

Shiki replies without looking up, "I forgot Izaya's collar had a tracker. If he's still wearing it I should be able to find out where he is…" He pauses and glares at the screen for a second, leaning closer to read something, "Got it." He starts for the door but Shizuo stops him.

"You need to stay here to answer the phone in case he calls again." Shiki knows that what Shizuo is saying is true but he also really wants to go find Izaya. "I can go find him."

Shiki looks to Akabayashi who still hasn't moved from his hunched over position on the couch and over to the landline that could ring at any second. He sighs knowing he may have no choice. He walks back over to his desk and rights down an address and gives it to Shizuo. "Hurry."

Shizuo gives a nod and leaves to go find Izaya.

—Page Break—

Izaya shakily lifts his head a bit when Red Head walks in with his food and drink. He is a little surprised, he hadn't seen Red Head for a while now; the brunette with the goatee had been bringing his food. He was cruel too, taunting him, making him work to eat, sometimes not even feeding but rather eating the food in his face under the claim that the food was too good for a mutt like him.

"Hey." Red Head smiles gently and places the food down for him. Izaya knows he should eat but he doesn't have it in him to do so, so he lays his head back down and closes his eyes. He's just so cold…

"Hey, c'mon, you need to eat," Red Head urges, shaking his shoulder a little. Izaya whimpers at the touch, his body protesting at being jerked around. He wants to just stay where he is. It hurts to move.

Red Head releases him when he moans in pain. He worries that the boy may not make it through the night if he keeps this up.

Izaya hears Red Head stand up and listens to his fleeting footsteps as he leaves. The smell of the food in front of him makes his stomach clench painfully. He is sure if he wasn't so dehydrated he would be crying by now.

He opens his eyes as the door opens again. Blondie walks in, a large knife in one hand, his phone in the other and a smile that says he's looking to cause pain is on his face. Brunette Goatee is behind him with a first aid kit.

—Page Break—

Shizuo borrowed Shiki's car and is high tailing it to the address he was given. The farther he drives the further away from civilization he gets. He's fighting hard to not let his anger get the best of him just yet but, goddamn it, if that motherfucker hurt Izaya any more he was going to fucking castrate him!

Shizuo growled in anger as he saw a building start to come into view. Izaya is in that building somewhere.

"Fucking motherfuckers…"

—Page Break—

Blondie kicks Izaya's untouched food to the side, not caring about the mess he made. He takes a seat by him, the brunette sitting as well, and flips his phone open and begins putting in a number, dialing it.

Once it's placed on speaker, Izaya listens with baited breath as it rings. Once. Twice. Thr—

"Hello?"

"Have you figured it out yet?" Blondie asks. He takes one of Izaya's hands and rubs a wipe over his fingers. It's cold.

When Shiki remains silent, Izaya begins to grow nervous. Blondie chuckles and pulls some alcohol and bandages from the first aid kit, the large knife laying teasingly close to Izaya's face.

Izaya stares at his reflection in the knife, seeing the terror deep in his dull eyes, knowing that it is what's going to take his fingers if Shiki doesn't say something.

Blondie smiles like a psycho as he picks up the knife and lines it up with Izaya's index finger. Izaya panics and begins to squirm, his fight or flight instinct going into overdrive. Blondie frowns and shifts so he's kneeling on Izaya's arm, keeping him in place.

Izaya can no longer see what's about to happen to him and it doesn't help calm his nerves. He chokes on a sob, tears he didn't know he had left beginning to leak from his eyes as fear wracks through his body and fogs his mind.

—Page Break—

All Shiki and Akabayashi can do is sit and wait for Shizuo to save Izaya because they haven't the slightest clue who this man is. They can vaguely hear Izaya crying in the background. They hate themselves for what's happening to him but have no control over the situation.

If they say one wrong word, who knows what could happen to Izaya?

They feel their blood run cold when they hear a clink and a squeak from Izaya followed by insane laughter. They share a look, not knowing what just happened.

"Crying like a bitch and I didn't even cut them off yet." They hear the man sigh and Izaya sobbing hard. "Such a pretty face…" Izaya whimpers softly. "Alright, for real this time."

"Wait!" Akabayashi yells. He can't just hope that nothing will happen; he needs to buy Shizuo some time.

"Hmm…would you gentlemen like to venture a guess as to who I am?" The man asks. They can hear the cruelty in his voice.

Before they can answer though, they hear a loud noise come through the phone and know that Shizuo has finally made it.

—Page Break—

This horrible man stabbed the knife between Izaya's fingers then laughed about it. He caressed his face and said he was pretty, then pulled the knife from the ground and aimed for his fingers.

A large _boom_ echoes through the building, causing Izaya to flinch.

"Where are you bastards?!" a bold voice bounces off the walls of the building. Izaya perks up a bit when he realizes whose voice that is. That's Shizu-chan and he's here to save him!

"What the fuck? Who the hell is that?" Blondie asks, flipping his phone closed and pocketing it. He gets off Izaya, Brunette Goatee following. Izaya watches as they step into the hall. "Shit!" They go flying down the hall when something large hits them.

Izaya becomes a bit fearful and closes his eyes tight, curling into himself. He wants this nightmare to end. He's so scared. He cries quietly, shaking in fear that he may be next. He doesn't know if he could live after a hit like that, especially in his current state.

"Izaya?" Shizu-chan's soft voice asks. Izaya peaks a watery eye open and sees Shizuo kneeling over him, looking worried.

"Shhhizzzzuuu," Izaya's hoarse voice forces itself out of his raw throat. Shizuo's eyes tear up at Izaya's pitiful state and he unhooks his leash from his collar. Izaya coughs harshly as Shizuo picks up his shaking form.

"Shhh, it's going to be alright. I'm going to get you out of here." Shizuo tells him comforting words as he runs out of the building to Shiki's car.

Izaya is only half conscious when they reach the car and his shaking has only increased. Shizuo lays Izaya out in the back seat. As he's going to the driver's door, he takes his phone out.

"Hey Shiki, meet me at Shinra's. I got Izaya but he doesn't look too great." He keeps it at that, hanging up and getting in the car. He starts it and cranks up the heat then drives as fast as he can over to Shinra's.

Izaya is vaguely aware that he's being moved, but he can feel warmth slowly breaking through the chill of his body. The warmth is nice. Izaya missed the warmth, he was so cold. Always so cold.

_A/N I'm sorry this is so late. I was working on the story I was going to put up after this one and got sidetracked by it. I hope you enjoy this chapter even though it's so short._

_~Cerise_


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N Was anyone else a bit disappointed with the last chapter? I know I was. I hope this is will make up for it._

—Page Break—

I can feel myself slowly thawing out from the previously permanent cold set in my bones; my quivers only seem to intensify though. I can feel myself starting to breakout in a sweat and my heart pounding in my chest.

Shizu-chan is saying something but the words may as well have fallen on deaf ears. My brain is too sluggish to make them out.

Where is Shizu-chan taking me? My head tips in his direction but I can only just barely see the back of his head from where I'm lying. He's rambling now, making even less sense than before. What is he saying? I try to make out some words, but it only succeeds in giving me a headache.

We come to a sudden stop and I almost roll into the floor but the seatbelt I didn't know I awkwardly had around my waist stops me. I groan and hear Shizu-chan say something. I don't know what he said though.

He turns and looks back at me, his lips are moving but I still can't make out the words. I close my eyes. I'm just too tired to try. My body is hot and cold at the same time, my ears are ringing, my heart is pounding and my head is killing me.

Shizu-chan is repeating the same sentence over and over again. After about the fourth time of hearing it I pick up one word: Shinra. Is he taking me to Shinra's? I hope so. I haven't felt well in so long.

I begin to pant; the heat in the car is becoming suffocating. The belt around my waist keeping me in place is too tight. The car is too small. I need out!

I begin to thrash, kicking at the door and struggling to get the seatbelt off. I don't realize we've stopped again until I feel Shizu-chan unhook the seatbelt and wrap his arms around me, keeping me in place.

My breathing is harsh but is evening out. Shizu-chan's embrace is familiar. His scent is calming, but he reeks of smoke. I suddenly feel very exposed and my body begins shaking against my will. I don't want to be scared of Shizu-chan, but I am. I don't want to be looked at. I don't want to be touched.

I struggle in his grip, trying to get away. I'm released but don't meet his gaze because I'm ashamed. From the corner of my eye I can see him unbuttoning his vest, discarding it by tossing it onto the floor or the car. I turn to him and feel my heartbeat pick up further as he begins to take off his white shirt.

W-what is he going to do to me…? No, no, this is Shizu-chan. He wouldn't hurt me…Would he? I flinch as he comes towards me, but instead of touch me or hurting me, he takes my hand and helps me slip my arm into the sleeve. He does the same with the other arm then buttons it up.

He gives me a nervous smile and pats my hair, smoothing it down after my thrashing. I'm still a little dazed by what's happening so when he speaks again, I still have no clue what he's saying. What is he saying? Why can't I understand him? What's happening to me?

I squeeze my eyes shut and cover my ears, ready to cry. I don't understand what's wrong with me. Why is this happening? He picks me up and takes me over to the passenger side door, sitting me in the seat and putting my seatbelt on. The position makes my ass and back ache but I bite my tongue.

Shizu-chan goes over to his side and drives quickly to the doctor's apartment. Once there, he takes me out of the car again and carries me inside, my shaking has yet to cease. The ride up the elevator is full of Shizu-chan's gibberish words and me trying to decipher them.

When we get there, Celty is already waiting by the door. She types something and shows Shizu-chan and he tells whatever it was to me, but I still don't know what he's saying. They lead me inside and Shi-Shi and Akaba are already here. Shi-Shi is sitting on the couch smoking heavily and Akaba is pacing the room.

Shinra rushes up and takes me from Shizu-chan, past Shi-Shi and Akaba who are looking at me nervously as I'm lead away into the back room and sat on a bed. Shinra closes the door and I feel my fear grip at my heart again.

He walks towards me and I cower away from him. He's saying something, but I don't know what. I'm scared. My eyes sting with tears and Shinra stops, backing away a bit, putting some much needed space between us.

He hums and walks out of the room. Is he coming back? What if he leaves me here? My body breaks out in a sweat again and I feel my throat constrict as I told back a scream. I can't be left in a room again. Please, not again! I scream anyway, tears streaming down my face.

I continue screaming until they all burst into the room looking as terrified as I feel. I want to be held but I don't want to be touched. I'm so scared of being alone but I don't want anyone near me. I curl into myself and cry. What's wrong with me? Why can't I understand what anyone is saying? Why am I so scared of the people I know I can trust?

I begin to hyperventilate. I can't calm my breathing. The room is getting fuzzy and I feel light headed. My vision is wavering from black and white lights and back to normal. I can't…calm…my breathing! Tears are falling from my eyes again…I can't…

I freak out because I can't stop and that only causes my breathing to speed up. My body feels like it's turning to jello. Why can't I stop breathing fast?!

Shinra is yelling something at me, Celty is trying to calm Shizu-chan down and Shi-Shi and Akaba are watching me with horror stricken faces. Then their faces blur and black flashes over all their forms, white pushes the black away and soon their faces return.

Suddenly Shinra is holding a paper bag over my mouth and I'm breathing heavily into it, focusing on the bag as it inflates and deflates, its speed slowly decreasing. I watch the bag. I don't take my eyes off the bag. My body tingles all over. My head feels heavy as lead and like it could float away at the same time.

Once my breathing reaches a steady rate, Shinra slowly, unsurely, moves the bag away. I feel my eyes roll back as I pass out.

—Page Break—

They all stare at Izaya's unconscious form.

"What happened?" Shizuo asks, being the first to find his voice.

"Izaya had a panic attack," Shinra tells them. He puts the back of his hand on Izaya's forehead. "He's cold and sweating, though that could just be from the anxiety," he mutters as he goes to the cabinet and pulls out a fleece blanket, draping it over the small form.

"Why did he scream like that?" Akabayashi asks the good doctor—who is rummaging around a drawer, looking for something.

"It was probably because I left him alone in a small space. He may be traumatized. Though I can't say for sure yet, he may just have been scared and his fears got the best of him. He _was_ in that place for three months." Shinra pulls a rape kit from underneath the sink, turning to the group. "This could take a few hours, so you can either wait or—"

"We're waiting," the three other men in the room speak at once. Shinra gives a nod. He sits the kit on the bed beside the raven. He takes out some swabs and plastic bags to put the swabs in.

He walks around the bed to Izaya's mouth and opens it, swabbing at his cheek, then places the sample in the bag. Then he grabs another swab and removes the blanket from Izaya's body. He gives all the men pointed looks. Celty walks out.

"Guys, um, heh, you don't want to be in here for this…" Shinra tells them awkwardly, though he is a bit in a hurry, he doesn't need Izaya waking up while he's doing this.

They all look confused and Shinra sighs.

"I'm about to swab his anus for traces of semen."

They all turn and walk out, Akabayashi giving a worried glance to the raven as he leaves. Shinra sets to it, swabbing his anus and putting the sample into the bag. He grabs a comb and begins collecting samples of dried cum from Izaya's hair, putting that in a bag as well.

—Page Break—

I feel sick to my stomach…But the bed is warm and soft…Wait! Where am I?! I hastily sit up and look around me. I'm on a bed, under a blanket, with clothes on…my own clothes. W-what happened?

My heart begins to pound. Where am I? My breathing picks up and before I can even process what's happened, a paper bag is slammed over my mouth.

"Breathe Izaya, just breathe," I look up at Shinra; he's coaching me through breathing. He looks exhausted. What happened earlier flashes through my mind, only causing more fear to course through my body, giving me tremors. My breathing increases as panic sets in.

Blondie is going to come for me. He's going to kill me. Green eyes and Brunette Goatee are going to taunt me and hurt me. Red Head isn't going to be able to save me. The door opens and a blonde walks in.

My breathing…my chest hurts!

"Izaya, calm down!" Shinra shouts. Blondie comes towards me and my body begins to shake uncontrollably. Blonde hair. It's Blondie! Why isn't Shinra doing something?! I close my eyes in fear.

"Izaya." And then a soft hand is petting my hair. I know this touch. I open my eyes, seeing the paper bag inflate, then deflate. I hesitantly look up. Shizu-chan. My breathe hitches. I miss him. Earlier I was too out of it to really appreciate that he was here with me.

"I-Izaya, breathe!" Shinra urges. I breathe a shaky breath as tears fill my eyes.

"Shizu-chan!" I cry into the bag. He smiles at me but he doesn't hug me like I thought he would. It's probably because I freaked out on him earlier. For all I know I could end up doing it again.

Wait a second…I can understand them again! What happened earlier? Why wasn't I able to understand what they were saying? That doesn't matter anymore, because it's over and I have a better grip on what's happening.

Shinra removes the bag from my face and I lunge for Shizu-chan, wrapping my arms around the blonde's waist. I cry on his shirt.

"M-missed youuu," I sob. He pets my hair but nothing further. I'm saddened but still thankful he doesn't, I don't think I could handle being held right now, I'm nervous having him simply touch my hair. Blondie would grab my hair and—No, don't go there. You're ok now. Shizu-chan is here, he'll protect you.

—Page Break—

Akabayashi slaps the blonde haired man over the back of his head with his lovely cane, smiling sadistically when he howls in pain.

"You really messed up this time Watanabe," Shiki tells him from his chair in front of the man, calmly smoking.

The blonde growls. "He fucking stole my wife from me you bastard!" Akabayashi drives the end on his cane into the man's sensitive balls, whistling a cheery tune over his cries of agony.

Shiki doesn't respond for a moment, merely letting Akabayashi take his anger out on the man before them. Akabayashi has a soft spot for children, particularly the little raven he helped raise. This man fucked up big time when he took Izaya from them. Now he was going to pay the price.

"She left you for a real man; I don't see how that's stealing. She didn't want you then and she doesn't want you now." Shiki takes another hit of nicotine while Akabayashi take another hit at the man tied to the chair. "You crossed a line messing with Izaya. He was nothing more than an innocent child."

The blonde man jeers. "Innocent my ass! That bitch gave great head; you had to of—Ack!" Akabayashi slaps the cane over the blonde's head again.

"Izaya is like a son to me, same here for Akabayashi, we never did anything to harm him in any way."

"Heh, then I hope knowing I did makes you suffer."

_BANG!_

The smoke sizzling from Akabayashi's gun and the echo of the shot is the only noise that can be heard in the seconds that follow.

"Tch, you weren't supposed to do that," Shiki tsks; though his tone suggests that he doesn't care either way. Akabayashi doesn't reply.

Later, they return to the underground doctor's apartment to see Izaya curled up between Shizuo's legs on the hospital bed, sleeping peacefully with his arms wrapped tightly around the blonde's waist. The blonde looks up from the book he was reading, giving a smile to the two Yakuza.

They continue looking at the young raven. He has his head on the blonde's thigh and is drooling a little. It's kind of _really_ fucking cute.

The two Awakusu-Kai know they can sleep peacefully tonight now that their little raven is home safe.

_A/N I know that may sort of sound like the story is ending, but it's not! There is still much more to come!_

_~Cerise_


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N To catch everyone up, because some of you were confused: Watanabe is Blondie. He was mad at Shiki for 'stealing' his wife from him. Hope this helped!_

—Page Break—

When I wake up, I reach up to wipe the cooling drool I feel leaking from my open mouth and down my cheek. On instinct my body begins to shake, my eyes squeeze together a little tighter. I flinch when a hand rests on my arm. The hand quickly removes itself and I curl into a ball.

But I don't feel the rough concrete grate against my flesh, or the cold chill of the room biting at my skin. I feel warm—or at least warmer than I have been for a while—and I'm lying on something soft. I open my eyes and see a blanket placed over my body and I'm wearing clothes. I'm in a white room on a bed. I'm positioned between two long legs.

My eyes trail up those two legs, up a white clad torso and to the face of a familiar blonde that always seems to make my heart flutter when he's around. It's been a long time since I've had a dream like this. I rest my head back on Shizu-chan's thigh and stare up at his face. I wonder how long I have before I wake up to that cold, lonely room.

Shizu-chan smiles down at me, petting my hair. I continue watching his face, mine staying blank of any emotion. I don't want to break the fragile façade this dream is giving me. Shizu-chan's leg is warm. He is always radiating heat, no matter how cold it gets.

A shiver wracks through my body, shacking me from my head down to my toes, then it's gone. Shizu-chan get's a look of concern, but I ignore the trembling. I've grown accustomed to it. I want to see Shizu-chan smiling again, that was better.

I hear a knocking sound at the door but I can't bring myself to look away from Shizu-chan even as he does, to see whoever it is.

"Good morning Shizuo! Is Izaya up yet?" an oddly familiar voice asks, but Shizu-chan's face is too pretty to look away from. How long until I see this face again?

"Yeah, he woke up just a few minutes ago." What does he mean I just woke up? This is all a dream, right? I'm just dreaming; I'll be kicked awake in a little while by Blondie soon, right? My brain is just being cruel to me right now, _right_?

"That's good, breakfast is ready, and afterwards, Izaya needs a bath."

Shizu-chan turns to look at me again. I love his chocolate eyes. Are they really here in front of me, or is this just a dream? I can't tell, my memory is foggy, everything is a blur.

"Are you hungry?" I'm starving; I haven't had food in so long. But I don't want to move. Another shiver works its way through my form. I nod my head and he picks me up, carrying me to the dining room. He sits me in a chair and I feel an intense shock run up my spine from my ass, ripping a yelp of pain from my lips.

My body is stock still, my mind worried that any sudden movements could bring that pain back. Everyone is watching me with shocked and worried expressions, frozen in place, unsure what to do. I'm scared to move.

"Izaya?" Shinra asks. I let up some of the pressure in my arms that are gripping the edges of my chair and keeping me in place, slowly, ever so slowly, the pain coming and ebbing away the more I let go. Once I'm sitting down completely, only a dull ache in my ass and back are left.

This isn't a dream; I didn't hurt in my dreams. Maybe this is a nightmare then? All I ever feel is agony in those. A never ending agony, because I always woke up to more.

Shizu-chan sits beside me, giving me worried glances. I just want to wake up, I don't want him to see me in pain, I don't want to see his worried face. A plate of food is place in front of me, steam rolling off of it and into the air, and it smells delicious. My stomach grows loudly and I'm tempted to grab the plate and scarf it down, not even bothering with a fork, knife or spoon.

But I don't, I keep to my manners and eat correctly, like Shizu-chan taught me. By the time I get half way through, I end up with the hiccups because I ate too fast, but it doesn't slow me down in the slightest. When I finish, I wait patiently in my seat for everyone else to finish their breakfast.

Shizu-chan finishes quickly after me. "Ready for your bath?" he asks me. I nod my head and he picks me up again, taking me to the bathroom to be bathed. I'm beginning to believe this isn't a dream or a nightmare, that I'm really awake and with him right now.

He sits me carefully on the toilet lid then turns on the water in the tub after plugging the drain. When he's satisfied with the temperature, he sets to work on taking off my clothes. I try not to shake too much at being stripped, but I still do. I feel bad that I can't stop being nervous, even around Shizu-chan.

Once I'm nude, he picks me up by my underarms and sits me into the tub that's about halfway full by now. I sit on my knees and let him wash me. His hands touch me gently, and he's careful of my bruises. His fingers kneed into my unbruised skin softly. It feels so good and I can feel myself starting to tingle weirdly from it, but it isn't unpleasant in the least.

"Mmh," I lean into his touch. I start to feel hot and the tingling feeling works its way to my penis. My eyes grow to the size of saucers and I jerk away from Shizu-chan. He looks shocked at the sudden move and I feel my face flush in embarrassment and shame.

Shizu-chan washed me many times before, why did I get an erection this time? Is Shizu-chan going to hurt me now, just like Blondie did?

"Izaya, what's wrong?" he asks softly. He reaches for me and I flinch at his touch, cringing away from his hand. I peek at him and his eyes hold so much hurt, it makes my heart ache. I did that to him. I hurt him. I get a sick feeling in my stomach and force myself to turn away from him as tears well up in my eyes.

He brushes off the rejection and picks up the cup beside him then rinses the suds off my body. He picks up the shampoo bottle next, "I'm about to wash your hair, ok?" he asks me as he pops the top open. I give a nod and he pours the shampoo into his hand.

He begins to massage the shampoo into my hair and my body starts to feel hot again, my erection growing. I start to grow anxious. I want him to stop touching me so this feeling will go away.

He rinses my hair out then unplugs the tub, letting the dirty water drain. Oh no, what will he think when he sees my erection? Go away, go away, go away! Stupid penis! Why won't you listen to me?

"Izaya?" Shizu-chan is staring at it. I blush furiously and try to cover it, wishing he would look away. He tips my chin up so I'm looking in his eyes. "Do you want it to go away?" he asks carefully. I give a hesitant nod.

He nods in return and stands up, reaching for the showerhead. He takes it down and turns one of the nozzles on the wall, checking the water with his hand. He holds the showerhead over me and I get drenched in cold water. I have to close my eyes to keep water from getting in them.

"Just bare with it, this will help," Shizu-chan tells me, I nod in reply.

After a while, my erection has gone away and Shizu-chan is drying me off with a towel. I'm shaking again, but this time it's more from the cold than being touched.

"Shiki and Akabayashi should be here with some clothes for you by now…" Shizu-chan mutters. He folds the towel around me then lifts me up to take me into the room I woke up in and sure enough, there are some clothes sitting nice and neat on the end of the bed, waiting to be worn.

Shizu-chan lays me on my back next to the clothes then opens the towel. "Hold your legs up," he instructs. I do as I'm told, still a bit hesitant. He picks up some underwear and slips them onto me, then picks up a pair of my black shorts. As he's about to slip them onto me as well, a shiver causes my petite form to convulse violently.

Shizu-chan pauses, waiting for my shaking to stop. He's looking at me with those sad eyes again. Stop looking at me like that, smile at me, make me smile back, stop pitying me, it's not going to help anything.

Once I've calmed my shaking, he slips the pants on, then helps me sit up, putting my new grey hoodie on me. I know it's new because it's bigger than my last one, that and Blondie took it away, never to be seen again.

"Can you still stand on your own?" Shizu-chan asks. I shake my head. "Can you still talk?" I nod. He smiles a little. "Then would you like to try talking?" His smile brings a smile to my own face, though small and timid, it's still a smile, and I feel my mood start to improve immediately.

"Shizu-chan." He beams at me and I giggle a bit. I made him happy again. Maybe things can go back to normal now and we can forget this ever happened.

He lets me climb onto his back and takes me into the living room, where Shi-Shi and Akaba are already talking with Shinra and Celty on the couch. They all turn to us when we come in. Shizu-chan lets me slip down to the floor then sits beside me.

"How are you feeling Izaya?" Shinra asks me, smiling while he nurses a cup of what looks like hot tea, or maybe its coffee.

"Cold." Shizu-chan chuckles under his breath and I blush thinking about what happened not twenty minutes ago that is the cause of my current frigidness. That was really embarrassing.

"Do you want some coffee? Does he like coffee?" Shinra asks Shi-Shi. Shi-Shi nods.

"Black." Shinra nods and goes to get coffee even though he didn't have to. He returns shortly after and hands me a cup of steaming black coffee.

"Thank you," I take a sip. It's hot and burns as it goes down, but it warms me up so I take another sip. A chill races down my spine, and I almost spill the coffee from the shake my body gives in response. Shizu-chan takes my cup from my quivering hands and sits it on the coffee table in front of us.

He moves me so I'm sitting between his legs and wraps his arms around me, attempting to warm me up. Though it is working, it still makes me nervous. What if I get an erection again? Everyone would know. The thought makes me blush hard and I stare down at my hands.

Wait a second…when did I get my rings back on? I take one off and see the words inside. I look to Shi-Shi.

"Who's reengs are these?" I ask, failing a bit.

"They're yours," he tells me. I shake my head. These aren't my rings. They belong to people named Shirou and Kyouko…I think that was their names at least.

"K-you-ko and Shi-ro-u," I tell him—my words breaking up in an effort to say them correctly—and hold out the ring I had taken off my finger, pointing to the writing engraved on the inside. Akaba looks a little stunned.

"You learned to read?" he asks. I shake my head. I don't know how to read, Red Head told me what they said.

"Izaya, don't worry yourself with what the engraving says. They are your rings," Shi-Shi tells me, and I do as I'm told, putting the ring back on and leaning back, onto Shizu-chan's warm, firm chest. I _will_ find out whose rings these are one day. I don't care what Shi-Shi says.

_A/N Hope you liked the chapter!_

_~Cerise_


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N Alright guys, my schedule is pretty damn booked this month (just like it has been for a while now) so chapters will probably be few and far between, what with my friend's baby shower coming up and my Día de los Muertos projects for Spanish class being due soon (and that's only some of the things), I simply can't find the time. I'm sorry guys._

—Page Break—

I wonder how long until Blondie comes back for me? Should I be worried? I feel like I should be worried. I'm not, but I should be, right? After what I went through, it's to be expected, right?

Shizu-chan tightens his hold on me in his sleep and a ghost of a smile appears on my lips. Maybe I'm not scared because I feel so safe?

Shizu-chan took me home last week and all he does when we're awake is keep his distance from me while not leaving my side. He refuses to touch me unless it's necessary, kind of like how Red Head did. But at night, once he's good and asleep, I'll curl into his side and he'll wrap me in his arms. He'll whisper my name into my hair and leave a kiss on my head.

This is the only time I'm able to feel his touch, when he isn't conscious. He's trying to keep me from having an emotional breakdown, as Shinra worded it, so he's careful around me and constantly walking on eggshells. I miss his touch, I miss his smile, I miss the way he'd kiss me when he was proud of me, I miss the way he ruffled my hair, I miss…everything.

I glance out the window, see the sun is peeking over the tops of the buildings and know his alarm clock will go off soon and he'll have to leave. I carefully worm my way out of his arms and to my side of the bed. It's cold from lack of body heat; I've been lying with Shizu-chan most the night though so it can't be helped.

I curl into a ball when I hear the alarm go off not two second after I'm on my side. Shizu-chan stirs immediately and my breath catches. That was too close; I need to be more careful. Shizu-chan sits up with a grunt and goes to the bathroom for his shower. I roll back over to his side of the bed and lie in his remaining warmth, breathe in his remaining scent. I miss his arms around me. I pull the blankets tighter around myself as a poor makeshift substitute.

I don't think Shizu-chan is ready to touch me yet. I'm sure I could adjust to his touch quickly but he's too nervous to try, it's a miracle he didn't decide to sleep in a completely different room than me. Maybe he doesn't love me anymore because I've been used?

Does he not love me anymore because I let other men kiss me? Touch me? Care for me? Well, scratch that last one, only Red Head cared for me and that care was minimal at best…Why won't Shizu-chan touch me?

I feel tears well up in my eyes. Why doesn't he love me?

The bathroom door opens and I duck my head under the covers before Shizu-chan can see my face. I hear shuffling for a few minutes and assume he's changing for work.

"Izaya?" Shizu-chan whispers, maybe he thinks I'm asleep? "Izaya?" he calls again, his voice as soft as the first time, though this time he sounds closer. I sniffle softly and poke half my head out from under the covers, rubbing at my eyes to hide any tears that may still remain. Looking at him I see my assumption was correct and he was in fact changing for work. "Do you want breakfast? I won't be back 'til late this afternoon."

I give a small nod and move to crawl out of bed. I rest for a moment once my knees hit the floor, sitting on my heels and wrapping my arms around myself.

"Izaya? Are you feeling alright?" Shizu-chan asks, kneeling in front of me. I close my eyes as he places the back of his hand against my forehead and for the life of me, I can't stop myself from leaning into the touch. I open my eyes when he pulls away, a soft pitiful sound slipping past my lips.

I want him to hold me. "'M fine…" I mutter out, and rub and my eyes again, before he can see any tears.

He nods and offers me a small smile then leaves the room, presumably to go make breakfast. After a moment I decide to follow after him.

I sit at his feet as he scrambles some eggs.

—Page Break—

Shizu-chan left for work around an hour ago and I've been lying in bed since, twisting my rings thoughtfully.

The room smells like Shizu-chan and there's a lingering smell of smoke, stronger than there used to be, far stronger, almost worse than when I first got here.

I haven't seen him smoking all that much, and he doesn't reek of it when he gets back home after work, so he must have done it while I was…_gone_.

I choke back a sob. I may not be all the scared of Blondie, but thinking back on all that has happened still scares me and brings unwanted tears. Shi-Shi and Akaba would want me to suck it up, to be strong, stronger than my fears.

I haven't seen them since Shizu-chan took me home, I miss them too. And how could I not? They were all I had growing up. I rarely saw anyone but them, except for Shi-Shi's wife every now and again, but that was all, just the sight of her before Akaba took me into my room so they had their alone time.

They have told me that they aren't my real parents, not that they explained what _parents_ were or anything, not that it matters I guess, because I haven't heard the word mentioned since then, but apparently I have a real set somewhere…I guess? Maybe? I don't know.

I cast a glance at the clock on Shizu-chan's nightstand, wish for the fourth time that I knew what the numbers meant, and wish longingly that Shizu-chan would be home already. I'm so lonely without him. Even if he won't touch me, his presence still calms me, makes me feel a bit better, makes me happy.

I close my eyes and breathe a heavy sigh, letting my subconscious lull me back to sleep. It's not like I have anything better to do until Shizu-chan gets home.

—Page Break—

"Izaya, I'm home!"

W-what? My mind is still groggy and hasn't caught up with reality yet.

"Izaya?"

Who's calling my name? I give a soft groan and turn over, facing the bedroom door. The door swings open and Shizu-chan's panicked face is revealed to me. For a moment I wonder why he looks so worried before the emotion drains itself from his face entirely and all that's left is relief.

Why did he look scared? Where did he think I was if I wasn't in the living room?

I wait with baited breath as he walks up and is about to pet my head…only the pause and pull away. I hold back a sigh. He got my hopes up for nothing; I was sure he was going to touch me. Why won't he touch me?! I feel my anger rise and have to fight to keep it at bay. I don't want to snap at Shizu-chan. He'll touch me when he's ready.

I just wish he was ready sooner. What is he so scared of anyway?

"I'm going to start on dinner soon, do you want to stay here until it's ready?" he asks as he squats by the bed, eye level with me.

I feel my lips thin, pressing more firmly together as I sit my head back down on the pillow—when had I moved it?—and he smiles a little, assuming that's my answer. I don't argue with his assumption. He hesitates for a moment as he stands; a conflicted look beginning to form on his face.

He raises his hand and rests it on my head for a moment, his fingers carding through my bed hair, then pulls away, giving me the tiniest of smiles before he hurries out of the room, presumably to start dinner.

I'm stunned for a moment, not at all expecting him to have touched me, at least not for a very long time—no matter how much I craved it—before a little giggle escaped my smiling lips.

He touched me. It may have just been the smallest, most insignificant gesture to most people, but it meant a lot to me. He didn't have to touch me; it was the unnecessary physical contact that I was in desperate need of. Maybe he knew it was something I needed, maybe he just wanted me to know that he didn't hate me, maybe I'm completely wrong and don't know his reasoning at all; none of it matters. All that matters is he's slowly warming up to touching me again.

We can only go uphill from here, right?

—Page Break—

Ever since that day, Shizu-chan has slowly come out of his shell and began touching me, little by little, more and more, everyday and it's nice to feel the skin on skin contact again, especially when he's awake and a willing participant in the contact.

He even kissed my forehead yesterday!

Oh, and I also started back up on my sit ups and pushups again. I need something to occupy my time when Shizu-chan isn't here.

I've got it all planned out too. I'll learn to walk and then I'll learn to talk—better than I do now, which is poor at best—then I'll learn to read and write. I'll get all the basics out of the way, and then Shizu-chan can help me learn how to do other things, like cooking and cleaning, using those electronic things everyone seems to own, everyone but Shi-Shi that is, because I've even seen Akaba with something small and square-ish looking that lights up.

I huff as my back hits the ground, a little harder than I was expecting, and knocks some of the air out of my lungs. I unhook my feet from under the couch and roll onto my belly. I push myself up and crawl over to my water bottle. I twist the cap like Shizu-chan taught me and take a few sips before twisting it back on, though I mess up and have to try twisting it on again.

I'm sweaty and tired when Shizu-chan walks into the apartment. He stops in the doorway, taking in my slumped form resting on the couch—I've stopped claiming it a no-go zone for about two weeks now—with an empty water bottle clutched in my hand. I probably smell bad too, but I'm too tired to tell, I think I may have pushed myself a bit too hard today, because I feel a little sore already.

Shizu-chan closes the door and kicks his shoes off then comes to my side, sitting on the floor beside my head. He brushes my sweat-slick hair out of my face then gives me a lopsided grin before he speaks.

"So this is why you're always so tired when I get home," he chuckles. I give him a tired smile and close my eyes, ready to go to sleep.

He pets my hair, smoothing it down, then gets up and goes to the bedroom to change out of his work clothes and into something more comfortable. I roll off the couch, sit the empty bottle on the coffee table and stretch in place, bending my back until it pops then follow after him.

I sit in the doorway as he pulls on a plain white shirt. I'm tempted to crawl over to the bed, force my tired arms to work and pull myself onto the bed so I can go to sleep, but Shizu-chan is walking towards me, picking me up into his arms and carrying me back through the living room and into the kitchen. He sits me down in my chair and goes to the fridge, pulling out ingredients to start dinner.

I kind of wish he had let me try to walk to the kitchen by myself, but I guess it's for the best, with how tired and shaky my muscles feel, I would have fallen before I took my first step. A chilled water bottle is sat in front of me and I follow the hand holding it up to the face of Shizu-chan. He smiles and pets my hair then returns to the cooking.

"Thank you," I say without fail, feeling my pride swell a bit at the small victory. I'm slowly getting better, and even if the results aren't immediate, it's improvement nonetheless.

Shizu-chan shoots me one more smile before he goes back to his cooking and I open my cool water and chug it down.

—Page Break—

I feel lips press against my forehead in the form of a kiss. "'Morning Izaya," is whispered to me in Shizu-chan's thick-with-sleep morning voice—which is really hot to hear by the way.

"'Morning," I tell him back, nuzzling closer to his warm body. His grip tightens ever so slightly and he hums, placing a kiss to my forehead again. In all honesty, I'm pretty sure he's still half asleep and is only semi-aware of what he's doing, but its fine by me.

I look over his shoulder at his alarm clock, seeing a time I can't read, just like every time I glace at the thing, and think to myself that I should add that to my Things To Learn list. I turn my head so I can look out the window and judge from where the sun is that he'll have to get up soon anyway.

I turn myself in his arms so my front is now what's facing the window and watch as the sun slowly rises. It's really pretty, I feel bad that Shizu-chan always works or sleeps through this when he has such a nice view of it.

A kiss is placed on my shoulder and Shizu-chan's sexy voice fills my ears, his warm breath tickles my neck. "Beautiful, isn't it?"

The sensation makes me blush but I smile happily, contently, and nod, relaxing further in his hold. I'm glad I got to share this moment with him after all.

His warm hands slip under my hoodie and rest on my firm stomach. His hands help my body fight off the cold that has settled itself into the apartment, so I lean back against him and close my eyes.

After laying in comfortable silence for a while, I realize that Shizu-chan needs to get up for work. I turn over in his arms again, resting my hands on his warm chest and nudge him. I look into his chocolate eyes worriedly, I don't want him to be late and get into trouble.

"Work."

"I'm off today."

I raise an eyebrow at that. It's not a weekend. Why would he say he's off? He smiles down at me and places his lips on my forehead and murmurs, "It's my birthday, Tom said I didn't have to come in today," then kisses me after he explains.

Birthday? It's Shizu-chan's birthday? Oh, I'm being rude.

I smile and tilt my head up to kiss him on the lips, ignoring the fact we both have morning breath then move to nuzzle his neck, whispering, "Happy birthday Shizu-chan."

He hugs me closer to him. I wish this could last forever. I'd be perfectly content spending the rest of my life in his arms. I hum happily at the thought.

"I love you Shizu-chan."


End file.
